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Because altered states of consciousness are the only known antidotes for college.
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Because, with each purchase, 5% of the profits go to a needy cause.
- Because of the kind of people who don’t. Newt Gingrich doesn’t.
- Because you live in
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Three Scariest Words in the English Language
- Heart
- Breaky
- Achy
Top Five Things Overheard at Chancellor Berdahl’s Last Speech
- “Wow.”
- “You’re kidding!”
- “No, I thought it was an Asian guy…”
- “Who?”
- “Who is this guy?”
Top Fourteen Things You Do Not Want To Wake Up and Find Inside Your Ass
- This ridiculous list
- A brontothere (look it up)
- Intel<sup>TM</sup>
- Klingons
- The other white meat
- A human lung
- Bad karma
- A spacious, sunlit apartment located on Northside
- El Nino
- You don’t know what it is, but it’s a-headin’ North.
- Herve Villachez
Top Eleven Sapphic Star Wars Characters
- The E-Twats
- R2-Queef-U
- That damn sand thing
- Chew-box-a
- G-Spot 3-PO
- Vulva Fett
- Princess Labia
- Lando Clitorissian
- Darth Vagina
- Jabba the Cunt
- Grand Muff Tarkin
Top Ten Better Jobs for the Mic Man
- Mine Sweeper
- Suicide Hotline operator
- Cheerleader’s bitch
- Mime
- Square Dance Caller
- Tele-Bears Operator
- Writer for <I>Daily Cal_
- Motivational Preacher
- Math Professor
- Sproul Preacher
Top Ten Things a Girl Could Say to Ruin His Chances for Sex
Top Ten Things a Guy Could Say to Ruin His Chances for Sex
- “I gotta take the biggest shit right now.”
- “Do I pay you or the sorority?”
- “Yoshuaaaaa!”
- “Are those real?”
- “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
- “Take off that red shirt!!!”
- “How do you define open
Top Thirteen Most Disturbing Things Your Professor Could Say
- “Mmmm-bop!”
- “You will now address me as Lord Zoltar.”
- “Office hours will be clothing optional.”
- “There will be no Black Lightening this semester.”
- “Do I look fat.”
- “let’s get ready to rumble.”
- “I believe in teaching openly, so feel free
Top Ten Surprises Chancellor Berdahi Brought From Texas
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Lunatic with big ears wants to be ASUC President.
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“Homeless” replaced with “varmints.”
- New ropin’ team.
- Doe lawn now Doe beef ranch.
- New “Crispy Hair Studies” department.
- Sproul preachers make excellent rodeo announcers.
- The Pinto on blocks in front of
