- Heart
- Breaky
- Achy
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Eleven Reasons to Smoke Pot
-
Because altered states of consciousness are the only known antidotes for college.
-
Because, with each purchase, 5% of the profits go to a needy cause.
- Because of the kind of people who don’t. Newt Gingrich doesn’t.
- Because you live in
Top Five Things Overheard at Chancellor Berdahl’s Last Speech
- “Wow.”
- “You’re kidding!”
- “No, I thought it was an Asian guy…”
- “Who?”
- “Who is this guy?”
Top Fourteen Things You Do Not Want To Wake Up and Find Inside Your Ass
- This ridiculous list
- A brontothere (look it up)
- Intel<sup>TM</sup>
- Klingons
- The other white meat
- A human lung
- Bad karma
- A spacious, sunlit apartment located on Northside
- El Nino
- You don’t know what it is, but it’s a-headin’ North.
- Herve Villachez
Top Eleven Sapphic Star Wars Characters
- The E-Twats
- R2-Queef-U
- That damn sand thing
- Chew-box-a
- G-Spot 3-PO
- Vulva Fett
- Princess Labia
- Lando Clitorissian
- Darth Vagina
- Jabba the Cunt
- Grand Muff Tarkin
Top Ten Better Jobs for the Mic Man
- Mine Sweeper
- Suicide Hotline operator
- Cheerleader’s bitch
- Mime
- Square Dance Caller
- Tele-Bears Operator
- Writer for <I>Daily Cal_
- Motivational Preacher
- Math Professor
- Sproul Preacher
Top Ten Things a Girl Could Say to Ruin His Chances for Sex
Top Ten Things a Guy Could Say to Ruin His Chances for Sex
- “I gotta take the biggest shit right now.”
- “Do I pay you or the sorority?”
- “Yoshuaaaaa!”
- “Are those real?”
- “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”
- “Take off that red shirt!!!”
- “How do you define open
Top Ten Worst Things About Tabling for the Squelch
- No one takes us seriously.
- Living in constant fear of your soul being damned for eternity.
- Cal-PIRG
- The evil feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes from not defending something by any means necessary.
- Overaggressive falafel vendors.
- Pepper
Top Ten Other Things Given To China
-
The ASUC store
-
Your mom
- That Cal Democrat publication
- MSG
- Pennsylvania Ave. and a get out of jail free card
- Most Flavored Nation status
- Gonorrhea
- Speed 2
- A lovely Jeopardy!<sup>TM</sup> home game
- People’s Park
