Corruptus Cristi
Who’s Afraid of Molly Hooper?
Twelfth Night of Yelling at Each Other and Accomplishing Nothing
Gross Inactivity
Rats
How I Failed at Everything Without Really Trying
Death of a Spitfire
Jesus Christ, Megalomaniac
Irami on the Roof
Waiting … Read More
Regis and Kenny G
Good Morning Canada
World’s Scariest Julia Herriges Columns
Make Me Cry
Viva Monotony
This Week in Nosepicking
America’s Most Horrific Beaver Disembowelments
Win Ben Stein’s Stash
When Ducks Attack
That’s Impossible!
… Read More
Frasier
The C+ Team
OJ’s House
Molested by an Angel
Me and My Syphilitic Uncle
The Good Samaritans
The Corey and Corey Show
The Corey Haim Show
The Corey Feldman Show
Three Washed-Up Actors and a Child Star
… Read More
Go back to the gold standard
American Brides for pennies on the dollar!
Viagra
More blue chips, less buffalo chips
World War III
Destabilize more third-world economies
Get Alan Greenspan laid
Lower everything else
Helicopter
Elevator
… Read More
Red Bull
Virgin Cola
Gravity in a Can
Plasma clouds
Mexican Pizza
The Infinite Dress
Windows 98
The wheel
The Electric Goo Razor
Hard Jeans
… Read More
Gratify yourself at the kids’ table.
Paint eggs and hide them.
Get a keg and hire the Spin Doctors.
Blow all your money on Quaker prostitutes
Say “You’re welcome.”
Stuff Grandma.
Think about stuff that sucks and how it could … Read More
It’s 6AM, We’re Still Laying Out the Squelch Because the Fucking Computer Crashed and We Ended Up Spending $25 on Adobe Technical Support Talking to Nancy, a Midwest Dyke Who Told Us the Likelihood of Recovering Our File Was Hopeless … Read More
“Can we have donuts at the meetings like the Squelch does? And hookers, too!”
“I’m feeling very representative today.”
“All right, I’m drunk. Let’s get started.”
“I move…my bowels. Oops!”
“Of course they’ll come. We’ve got Kennedy!”
Monkey noises
“I … Read More
You’re not.
Courtney is a cheap water polo whore.
You’re looking for the next insult, Courtney.
It turns you on.
You’re not in the Greek System.
Hooked on phonics worked for you.
The guy who draws “Lemont Brown” has writer’s … Read More
Junkie: Chipmunk with track marks in all his cute wille fuzzy-wuzzy radial artery
Chippy: Chigger with authentic skin-burrowing pincers
Mangy: Half-starved Telegraph black Labrador
Clampy: Lamprey that attaches to other toys and sucks their blood
Breathless: Fetal pig in jar … Read More
