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Volume 8- Issue 3

Top Ten Ways to Make the Stock Market Go Up

November 1, 1998
top ten
  1. Go back to the gold standard
  2. American Brides for pennies on the dollar!
  3. Viagra
  4. More blue chips, less buffalo chips
  5. World War III
  6. Destabilize more third-world economies
  7. Get Alan Greenspan laid
  8. Lower everything else
  9. Helicopter
  10. Elevator
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