- Cyborgs!
- Return the Lindbergh baby
- Airlift supplies to Berlin
- More school dances that remind us of our awkward teenage years
- Take down the Confederate flag from atop Eshleman Hall
- Give students excursion passes to the Land of Chocolate
- Send a
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Three Things Most Commonly Heard While Exiting High-Tech Burrito
- What just happened?
- Huh?
- I’d hate to see a low-tech burrito.
Top Ten Catholic April Fool’s Pranks
- Teach evolution in Kansas
- Replace communal wine with Franzia “Party-in-a-Box”
- Last rites read in comical Yiddish accent
- Non-transsubstantiating wafers
- Recommend the rhythm method as a viable birth control option
- A dildo in your ass instead of the priest’s cock
- Apology
Top Ten Breakfast Cereal Killers
- Cocoa Puff Daddy
- Vons Value Brand Night Stalker Cereal
- Honey Tomb
- Apple Jack the Ripper
- Jeffrey Dahmer’s Frosted Flakes of Human Skin
- Grape Psychos
- Cunanan Toast Crunch
- Rice Kaczinskys
- Honey Bundys of Oats
- Cheeri-OJs
Top Ten Boring Led Zeppelin Songs
- 30% Chance of Rain Song
- Six and a Half Minutes Gone
- Houses of the Upper Middle Class
- Going to Delaware
- Misty Mountain Polka
- When my Shoelace Breaks
- The Compromise of Evermore
- Stairway to Upstairs
- Fair Amount of Love
- Wool
Top Ten Alternate Endings For The Alphabet Song
- FIN
- 10 minutes of, “Naaaa na-na na-na, nana nanaaaa…”
- Can I go now officer?
- Big bird, get your finger out of my ass.
- Oh yeah! I’m going to cum! Oh yeah!
- Here’s your Ethnic Studies Degree.
- Bee-otch.
- Second verse, same
Top Ten Slumber Party Activities
- Mime contest (naked)
- Crosswords
- Naked theoretical lesbian sex
- Naked experimental lesbian sex
- Naked watching TV
- Naked cooking
- Naked pillow fight
- Naked Twister
- Who can keep their tongue in someone else’s mouth the longest?
- Prank calling cute boys and getting arrested
Top Ten Ways to Stop Someone Committing Suicide
- Evict him from the I-House
- Steal all of his salt so he’ll get a goiter and then the noose won’t fit him
- Just find another box of Corn Pops
- Convince him that regicide is much cooler
- Replace his razor blades
Top Ten Reasons to Marry a Dog
-
Likes chasing pussy as much as you do.
 -
How 'bout all those nipples? - ‘Cause you knocked her up
- If you think he’s having an affair, you can lock him in the yard
- You can win any argument by rubbing her
Top Ten Pornographic UC Berkeley Building Names
-
Sproul Hall (because they fuck you in the ass)
 -
Mammorial Stadium - The Seize Her Shove It Center
- Aass School of Business
- Zellercock
- Muffit
- Poon Tang Center
- VLSBDSM
- Twatimer
- Le Cunt
