- Use 1 -800-COLLECT And Save A Buck Or Two On All Your Calls To Someone Who Cares
- Here’s Two Quarters, Call Someone Who Cares
- If You Keep It Brief, You Can Just Use My Cell Phone
- I Don’t Especially Care
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Worst Ways To End Your Senior Thesis
- “…until the handle breaks off, and you have to go to the doctor to pull it out again!”
- “Donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey.”
- “Or not.”
- “This thesis will self-destruct in five seconds.
- “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
Top Ten Least Successful ASUC Parties
- Berkeley Engineers, Conductors and Brakemen
- Defenders of the Silver Standard
- Safeway Club
- Whigs
- A bunch of guys named Roger
- National Socialist
- HARDBOILED!
- Bull Moose
- The Bring Dave Coulier To Campus Party
- BYOB
Top Ten Breakfast Cereal Killers
- Cocoa Puff Daddy
- Vons Value Brand Night Stalker Cereal
- Honey Tomb
- Apple Jack the Ripper
- Jeffrey Dahmer’s Frosted Flakes of Human Skin
- Grape Psychos
- Cunanan Toast Crunch
- Rice Kaczinskys
- Honey Bundys of Oats
- Cheeri-Ojs
Top Ten Boring Led Zeppelin Songs
- 30% Chance of Rain Song
- Six and a Half Minutes Gone
- Houses of the Upper Middle Class
- Going to Delaware
- Misty Mountain Polka
- When my Shoelace Breaks
- The Compromise of Evermore
- Stairway to Upstairs
- Fair Amount of Love
- Wool
Top Ten Alternate Endings For The Alphabet Song
- FIN
- 10 minutes of, “Naaaa na-na na-na, nana nanaaaa…”
- Can I go now officer?
- Big bird, get your finger out of my ass.
- Oh yeah! I’m going to cum! Oh yeah!
- Here’s your Ethnic Studies Degree.
- Bee-otch.
- Second verse, same
Top Ten Slumber Party Activities
- Mime contest (naked)
- Crosswords
- Naked theoretical lesbian sex
- Naked experimental lesbian sex
- Naked watching TV
- Naked cooking
- Naked pillow fight
- Naked Twister
- Who can keep their tongue in someone else’s mouth the longest?
- Prank calling cute boys and getting arrested
Top Ten Ways to Stop Someone Committing Suicide
- Evict him from the I-House
- Steal all of his salt so he’ll get a goiter and then the noose won’t fit him
- Just find another box of Corn Pops
- Convince him that regicide is much cooler
- Replace his razor blades
Top Ten Pornos Starring Jesus Christ
- Semen on the Mount
- Jesus Nympho Cum Sluts XII
- Second Cumming
- Tie Me Up, Nail Me Down
- Divine Staff
- Carpenter of Love
- Who’s Your Savior?
- Who Would Jesus Do?
- Christ Bangs Bethlehem
- Deep Soul
Top Ten Pornographic Dairy Products
-
Head cheese
-
Non-Dairy creamer
- I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Pornographic Dairy Product
- Land O’ Ass
- Whip n’ cream
- Jizz Whiz
- Bestiality cheese
- Mount-her-rey Jack
- Country Crotch
- Frottage cheese
