- Teach evolution in Kansas
- Replace communal wine with Franzia “Party-in-a-Box”
- Last rites read in comical Yiddish accent
- Non-transsubstantiating wafers
- Recommend the rhythm method as a viable birth control option
- A dildo in your ass instead of the priest’s cock
- Apology
… Read More
- Cocoa Puff Daddy
- Vons Value Brand Night Stalker Cereal
- Honey Tomb
- Apple Jack the Ripper
- Jeffrey Dahmer’s Frosted Flakes of Human Skin
- Grape Psychos
- Cunanan Toast Crunch
- Rice Kaczinskys
- Honey Bundys of Oats
- Cheeri-OJs
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- I can’t believe you had sex with my mother!
- Uno!
- Why is it so hard to think of a name for Jack’s bistro?
- It’s a boy!
- To add or drop a class, press “2”.
- Just come in off the ledge.
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- FIN
- 10 minutes of, “Naaaa na-na na-na, nana nanaaaa…”
- Can I go now officer?
- Big bird, get your finger out of my ass.
- Oh yeah! I’m going to cum! Oh yeah!
- Here’s your Ethnic Studies Degree.
- Bee-otch.
- Second verse, same
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- Mime contest (naked)
- Crosswords
- Naked theoretical lesbian sex
- Naked experimental lesbian sex
- Naked watching TV
- Naked cooking
- Naked pillow fight
- Naked Twister
- Who can keep their tongue in someone else’s mouth the longest?
- Prank calling cute boys and getting arrested
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- Evict him from the I-House
- Steal all of his salt so he’ll get a goiter and then the noose won’t fit him
- Just find another box of Corn Pops
- Convince him that regicide is much cooler
- Replace his razor blades
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- 30% Chance of Rain Song
- Six and a Half Minutes Gone
- Houses of the Upper Middle Class
- Going to Delaware
- Misty Mountain Polka
- When my Shoelace Breaks
- The Compromise of Evermore
- Stairway to Upstairs
- Fair Amount of Love
- Wool
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- Hugest erection this side of Donner Pass, nearly broke my jaw it did.
- It’s not the grade that matters, it’s how much you improve.
- Yes, you could argue that, but, you’d be wrong!
- Mmmm, aren’t we a little deterministic today?
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- “The cockroach was Paul”
- “Desmond says to Molly, girl, I’m afraid of death”
- “I’m sooo hungry, I haven’t eaten a bite”
- “And in the end, you die”
- “Happiness is a warm hole in the ground”
- “No one loves you, yeah,
… Read More
