- Evict him from the I-House
- Steal all of his salt so he’ll get a goiter and then the noose won’t fit him
- Just find another box of Corn Pops
- Convince him that regicide is much cooler
- Replace his razor blades with Juicy Fruit Wrappers
- Two words: Coffee enema
- Convince him that Milli Vanilli still has fans
- Kill yourself first – no one likes a copycat
- Put a Moon Bounce under his window
- Shoot him
