Northern Barbarians Invade Mandarin House

In a move that threatens the already volatile political climate in the Durant Food Court, northern barbarians have taken control of the Mandarin House and established a provincial government. The popular Chinese restaurant was seen as ripe for potential takeover due to its internal dissension, the growing power of eunuchs in the kitchen, and the new “Frothy Tea” machine.

The barbarian takeover is expected to establish stronger relations with Japanese Snacks, as well as increase the visibility of Mongolian Lamb on the reataurant menu. When reached for comment, a Mandarin House employee responded, “Fork or chopsticks?”