You meet a nice girl at a party; she tells you about her trip to Mexico; you tell her about your parents’ divorce and your father’s eventual cohabitation with Carlos, a Mexican national. You’ve just found yourself in an awkward … Read More
Tag Archives: Tommaso Sciortino
George W. Bush: 007
Although our president’s exploits in the Texas Air National Guard are well documented, Mr. Bush has done even more to help the world as a member of Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
(The Briefing)
AGENT: Your mission, Agent Bush, should you … Read More
Local Man Completes Work on New Super-Weapon
Berkeley pastry chef and part time quantum scientist Jeff Gable recently completed a new super-powered super weapon which he plans to use either for good, or to make fluffier, more golden brown cr+A?me brulees.
“I have always been interested in … Read More
Famous Professor Bad at Teaching
Recent reports indicate that that one teacher, you know, that one that is really famous, is not a very good teacher. These reports come hot on the trail of accusations that he just rambles a lot and doesn’t lay things … Read More
Nader Kills 30, Still a Good Person
Lifelong consumer advocate and former Green Party presidential candidate Ralph Nader opened fire on a group of unarmed shoppers Friday at a Wal-Mart near his home in Pasadena, California.
“It was a horrible tragedy,” reported one unhurt bystander. “My first … Read More
Sow Some Yams Already
Earlier this year I and my team of researchers were granted permission by the government of Brazil to study the Umbato people of the lower basin. Our study would focus mainly on what western civilization could learn from these people … Read More
Rights Groups Seek to Reclaim Word “Fag”
A coalition of fraternity members, hicks, and fundamentalists have joined forces recently to reclaim the word “fag” from homosexuals, whom they say have twisted it’s meaning in recent years.
“Dude, back in the day, before we got the new porch, … Read More
Obscure Moments In Film History
Every viewing of Disney’s Goonies (1985) fills me with the same seeping dread.
It comes near the end of Goonies when the father takes the contract which would have sold his home to greedy land developers and rips it up, … Read More
Menage a Threesome
College is a time for experimentation. For some, this means actual experiments. On lab animals. For others, this means learning to laugh and love with a tight knit group of Southern women who will stay in each others’ hearts always. … Read More
Miles Davis: Practical Joker
Miles Davis is more than a jazz musician: he is a cultural icon, known even to people who can’t tell bebop from fusion. His mellifluous style and rich spontaneous compositions became the hallmark of his style and attitude. Although he … Read More
