Local Man Completes Work on New Super-Weapon

Berkeley pastry chef and part time quantum scientist Jeff Gable recently completed a new super-powered super weapon which he plans to use either for good, or to make fluffier, more golden brown cr+A?me brulees.

“I have always been interested in quantum mechanics and relativity,” explained Gable while frosting an anniversary cake. “I though, hey, if matter contains so much energy, why not empty space?” Gable clarified that using his new “vacuum converter” he could melt bars of lead in seconds or sticks of butter much quicker. When asked to elaborate, Gable slyly hinted, “Much, much quicker.”

The interview was cut short when a radio bulletin announced both that hoodlums had just robbed the Berkeley city bank, and that a health advisory was issued as to a dangerously undercooked batch of a popular brand of chocolate eclairs.

Muttered Gable as he put on his jacket, “Decisions, decisions.”