Berkeley’s Zeke Tyler, 22, is about to do the unthinkable: “I’m giving up not having sex for Lent,” Tyler declared Monday to a shocked gathering of friends. “Sex. For forty days and forty nights.”
Friends remain skeptical that the notoriously … Read More
Popular crimes in Caveman Times generally involved the use of a club and/or the theft of a mate. Punishment for crimes in Caveman Times generally involved the same. One notable exception was Grk’s landmark conviction for patent infringement … Read More
Thanks for reading the Squelch, and remember to pick up a copy of Shrek, now available everywhere on video and DVD. Like bacon cheeseburgers? You’ll also want a delicious copy of Shrek, available on the way home … Read More
Berkeley resident and UC student Gil Hendricks returned last week from winter break to his apartment which, for unknown reasons, sort of smells vaguely like gas.
“I don’t know. Do you smell that?” Hendricks asked companions as he wandered through … Read More
Leslie Carpenter, or Carpento-chan, as she is known among friends and online acquaintances, appreared at Santa Clara’s Fanime-Con “Der Cosplay” Masquerade event bearing a striking near-resemblance to the character Ayanami Rei from the popular Japanese anime Neon Genesis Evangelion. And … Read More
Internet retail giant Amazon.com is wanted for questioning regarding the shipping of Anthrax through the mail, the FBI reported. Suspicions first arose last week when New York resident Tim Duggins was heard softly singing the lyrics to the thrash metal … Read More
Man: Excuse me sir? [He is ignored.]
Man: Excuse me? Sir? Sir?
John Cleese: AAAGH!
Man: AGH!
John Cleese: Right, right. What can I do for you then?
Man: Yes, well, I was wondering if I could buy a box … Read More
First off, kudos for returning Sex on Tuesday to its former dirty self, a column which at its best makes you feel like you should shower after reading it, and even on an off day still makes you want to … Read More
“Daddy,” came the voice from behind as Mr. Levine tried to tiptoe quietly out of the room. “Can you tell me a bedtime story?”
Mr. Levine sighed heavily. He was a busy man. Overworked, prematurely gray at the temples, and … Read More
Student Kevin Petit, 22, had always led a shallow, empty life devoid of any true pleasures, notable accomplishments, spiritually fulfilling experiences, or emotionally meaningful interpersonal relationships. Since September 11, however, the crushing emptiness of Petit’s life has become more painfully … Read More
