In an emotional and heartfelt conclusion to the months-old controversy, the oak trees surrounding Memorial Stadium were saved from their own self-destructive patterns of behavior Saturday.
“It was a hard time for all of us,” said botanical therapist Jill … Read More
I Bet I Can Have Sex With You
If you’re like me, you’re having sex RIGHT NOW. Oh but you’re not, loser. Unlike you, whose penis is probably well-pantsed, I’m what you might call a “pickup artist.”
But, you ask, what’s a pickup artist? A pickup artist is … Read More
It happens to even the most careful and health-conscious students: you stay up too late studying for your Ornithology midterm, or pass out at Phi Kappa Emu. And the next morning, you wake up with a single unusually large avian … Read More
Okay. Driving. Shit. It’s a lot like going native and building a secret jungle base decorated with human skulls: it requires planning and care.
How can I make you kids understand just what driving is like?
[sits in silence … Read More
In an earth-shatteringly original move, aspiring cartoonist Jeff Kline announced today that he intends to create a new comic strip focusing on the adventures of a lovable dog named Spotsworth. “I think “Spotsworth” will be a real breakthrough,” said Kline. … Read More
Hail and well met, bro! As a young gentleman newly arrived at manhood, thou hast undoubtedly asked thyself, “How may I conduct myself with honor and dignity, all the while consorting with beauteous wenches and smiting mine enemies?” Of course … Read More
Welcome to the 2007 NecronomiCon, the premier trade event for evil wizards. You can pick up your name tags at the registration table, located in the heart of the Obsidian Monolith on the Island of Forgotten Souls on the Lake … Read More