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Pretend to be security guard and arrest people for buying textbooks they know
Yell “Fire! Fire! Oh, never mind, it’s just in Nutritional Science.”
Test “human domino” theory
Incite book burning
Reading for first four weeks of … Read More
Angst and Alienation To Go
Cafe Spam Delight
Pseudo Intellectual Espresso
Cafe Obnoxio
Mocha n’ Grits
… Read More
“How does it feel being the nation’s biggest joke?”
“This ‘New World Order’ is your secret plan to take over the universe, isn’t it?”
“Quick– how many houses of congress
“Do you feel that cabinet members are envious … Read More
Examathon
Power flunk
Deorgasm
Pukemonger
Supraflatulence
Churl finger
Hellarific
Unphlegm
Detenurize
Snidelicious
… Read More
Will assist colleagues in Big Game brawls
Can handle a bullwhip
Will pay for pizza during tenure hearing
Can consistently bowl over 160
Isn’t scared to speak out and agree with everyone else on any issue
Won’t guzzle beer from … Read More
Hades/ ML Olympus (tie)
Los Angeles
Antarctica
Club Med Bahamas
Downtown Beirut
… Read More
Sang “God Bless America” at Bush’s inauguration
Headline act at Disoriented Street People Talent Show
Opened for Pink Floyd at Berlin Wall
Breakfast Lounge at Sunshine Insane Asylum
Sang national anthem at 1990 World Series
… Read More
“What do you mean I can’t cancel class just because the A’s lost?”
“I’ll assign your book to my class if you give me that jelly donut”
“I don’t give A’s because that just encourages them to stay.
“Who finished … Read More
You need a dictionary to comprehend the word “graduation”
You spend most of class time talking on cellular phone
You forget exactly which multiple of four years college is supposed to be
Beer and/or marijuana are staples of diet
Semester … Read More
Shouldn’t we close physical reality for Martin Luther King, Jrs. birthday?
Is reincarnated paper more expensive than recycled?
What are the chances of finding the true meaning of life in a fortune cookie?
Does physical reality have call waiting?
Does … Read More
