Butt Camp

November 1, 1997

Six marines in North Carolina have been indicted with the charge of trafficking military weapons and just generally “acting irresponsible,” according to a Marine official. “We just don’t see where we went wrong,” he told the Squelch. “I trained … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2

My Dream, or Death of a Vocalist

November 1, 1997

Allen Haim, feature

I had the dream again. Not the pounded yam dream; the other one. In the dream I a member of the Men’s Octet. I am good looking, funny, and the highlight of campus life from 1:00-2:00 once a week. Everyone … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2

Bad, Bad Frat Boy Brown

Sort of sung to the tune of Bad, Bad Leroy Brown

November 1, 1997

Constance T. Paycian, feature

The following is not directed towards any particular fraternity (Sig-Ep). Frat Boy Brown depicts a certain type of person who is usually a member of some fraternity (Sig-Ep). I’ve encountered this type of person many a Thursday and Friday night … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2

Psychic Big Game Predictions

November 1, 1997

Dan Nguyen, feature

So I hear a bunch of you cheapshits refuse to shell out the dough to see the Big Game this year. Maybe you don’t want to watch huge fleshy men in spandex pile on top of each other. No one … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2

Hide N’ Go Shower

November 1, 1997

newsflash

Following the capture and military-style execution of a vagrant found showering in a Harvard University dormitory, dormitory bathrooms are now key-locked and require thumb and voice print verification for entry. Asked about the excessive costs necessary to install such a … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2

Ode to Stanfurd

November 1, 1997

feature, Jason N. Rosenbaum

There once was a student
Who went to ‘The Farm,’
A grievous decision
That caused him great harm.
In high school, you see,
This student was fine
‘Till goin to Stanford
Verschnickered his mind.
The first day of school
He … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2

Why Is That Guy Licking His Shoulder?

November 1, 1997

feature, Stephen M. Berger

Berkeley has a well deserved reputation for being a city of lunatics. Hell, Telegraph is one of the only streets in the world where you can see two naked women performing an impromptu didgeridoo concert. While I’ll admit that there … Read More

Volume 7- Issue 2