Wasn’t that the guy who had a 4.3 GPA in high school but then got addicted to drugs because of his numerous allures in this overly-competitive environment and is now
… Read More
Puff Daddy has one.
Jesus likes lowered cars. Just ask Kierkegaard.
The lower your Honda Civic is, the more it looks like a <I>real car</I>.
It’s mass cool.
To avoid radar.
The reduced drag due to air resistance will save … Read More
Light his farts on the tomb of the unknown soldier
Paralyze Bob Dole’s other arm
Three words: Vice President Hanson
End all of his speeches with “You mutherfuckers are gonna PAY!”
Make love to his wife
Lower taxes and reduce … Read More
Mounds
All Man-Boy
Underage Ruth
Three Muffketeers
Licorice Whips and Chains
Hershey’s French Kisses
S&Ms
Everlasting Gobswallowers
Butter-finger
Reese’s Penises
KlitKat
Dix
Now-and-Nine-Months-from-Now
Whor
Tittles
… Read More
Rick Stair’s sound crew grip
Assistant panhandler
Temp service
Elsinore Brewery
ASUC Store administration
Office of the President of the United States
Blondie’s
Interior design
Mervyn’s, California
Assistant crack whore
… Read More
Morphine
Bidet
Teleport
Morph
Puree
Help! I’m being repressed!
Belly
Ctrl + Alt
Fire! – Just kidding
Booty call
The Orkin Man
Ghostbusters
Expectorate
On
Button, button, who’s got the button?
… Read More
Endorsed by the Daily Cat.
Didn’t stock enough inflatable aliens.
$1.00 Schlotzky’s Pizza is better than $1.00 clothes.
One can only own so many copies of “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em.”
No one would pay even $1.00 for such worthless … Read More
A garbage disposal and you’re two inches tall
A pile of someone else’s sick
Michael Jackson’s oxygen chamber
A trash compactor
Sproul Plaza fountain
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
The icy core of Saturn
Your TA’s bed
A pile … Read More
“Rate your TA’s sexual performance.”
“Please note that this class no longer satisfies the American Cultures requirement.”
“Use a #4.12 pencil.”
“All questions must be answered in Cuneiform.”
Jism
… Read More
Christopher Reeve
Internet porn
Angst
You, Barry Kurtz, you
Smurfette
My Little Pony
Molly Hooper
Gonorrhea
Posh Spice
Kathie Lee Gifford
… Read More
