Top Ten Reasons Lazy Eddie’s is Going Gut of Business

  1. Endorsed by the Daily Cat.
  2. Didn’t stock enough inflatable aliens.
  3. $1.00 Schlotzky’s Pizza is better than $1.00 clothes.
  4. One can only own so many copies of “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em.”
  5. No one would pay even $1.00 for such worthless crap.
  6. Their one clothing rack was stolen.
  7. Eddie was caught with a pledge hog-tied in the back seat of his car.
  8. Meth lab became too lucrative.
  9. They were never open to begin with.
  10. Driven out of business by Diligent, Hardworking Eddie’s.