- Purse-Suit of happieness
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- Art major with a future
- Japanese/Nuclear Engineering double major
- Rhetoric major who understands the major
- Rude Civil Engineering major
- Irish English major
- Politically moderate PACS major
- Greedy Buddhist Studies major
- Business major with real friends
- Down-to-earth Astrophysics major
- Forgetful History
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- Swing Band
- Final Hours Fantasy
- Sonic the Couch-hog
- A Living Link To The Past
- Parappa the Washup
- Dr. Mario, Emeritus
- Yoshi’s Life Story
- Donkey Kong Country Club
- Matroid Way Past Prime
- Star Fox, 64
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- Sex God, where this King of the Gods has to turn into a swan so this chick will do him
- Sex Bomb, where this guy has to build an IED so these 72 virgins will do him
- Sex Pistols, where
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- Skull implodes from sheer vacuity
- Mentioned who his will was made out to
- Sudden caviar allergy
- Grief at losing beloved sled
- Trampled by prize ponies
- Not very good at most dangerous game
- Solid gold boat not so buoyant in practice
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- Crabbi
- Yaktress
- Mailmanatee
- Porn Starfish
- Buddhist Monkey
- Piano Tuna
- Para-eagle
- Claims Adjusturtle
- Scienticks
- Astronautilus
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- Flyerers unfazed when you call them “Satan.”
- Students are all brimstoned.
- Homeless speak in tongues.
- Christian Fellowships try to get you off campus.
- Horny GSI’s.
- Dark passages that extend deep underground.
- Hellishly overprice textbooks.
- Pale, nocturnal creatures sometimes emerge from
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- I Get A Kick Out Of Glue
- They Can’t Toke That Away From Me
- That’s Crack-Whore-Ay
- Too Dosed For Comfort
- (Dancing) Tweak to Tweak
- I’ve Shot You Under My Skin
- It Was A Very Good Beer
- Have Yourself A Merry
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- Guys seemed nervous when you suggested “Steak Night.”
- Big theme party is always “Immortal Bros and Neck-Bitten Hoes.”
- Hell Week actually takes place in Hell.
- The house has a firm rule about never letting Wesley Snipes inside.
- Guys in coffins
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- Of Mice Men
- Cannibal Row
- The Nuclear Winter of Our Discontent
- Planet of the Apes of Wrath
- Beast of Eden
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