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Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Things to Say to a Dog You’re Abandoning When It Keeps Looking at You Like That
- Nothing. Let your new dog do all the talking.
- “So … um … I guess I’ll … see you around then. Yeah.”
- “The last five dogs took this way better than you’re taking it, you big baby.”
- “Dry those tears,
Top Ten Alternative Names for Military Campaign
- Operation Let’s Not Hit Another Goddamn Embassy
- Operation I Slam, You Slam, We All Slam Islam
- Great American Smoke-Out
- Fruit Bars & Cluster Bombs
- Operation Noble But Conflicted Eagle
- Operation Towel Whip
- Operation Last Crusade
- Iran’s Warning Shot
- Smackdown!
- Muslim
Top Ten Poorly Conceived Superhero Duos
- Etch-a-Sketch Man & Mr. Jitters
- Stand-Man & Can’t-Stand- Stand-Man -Man
- Love Man & Friend Girl
- Superman & Lousyman
- BAMN-Man & Bam-Bam
- Daredevil & DareJesus
- Chalkman & White Board
- Riddler & “See Answer on Page 9” Man
- Sharkman & Cap’n Chum
Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies
- The Making of a Lifetime Original Movie: A Lifetime Original Movie
- Some Dumb Movie For Women
- Hold On For One More Day: The Carnie Wilson Story
- So Many Tears
- Estranged Boyfriend Abortion Doctor Rape Incest
- Ex-Husband Killer Stalker Man
- My
Top Ten Catholic TV Shows
- X-communication Files
- Really Big Family Ties
- Growing Pains in My Side After Being Speared
- Cardinals of Hazzard
- Golden Grails
- Calvary Hillbillies
- Full Mass
- Who’s on the Cross?
- She’s the Pope
- Who’s the Pope?
Top Ten Farewell Gifts for Tom Holmoe
- Amnesia
- Undying hate of Cal football fans
- The last five years of his life back
- 30-second video of team highlights (1997-2001)
- A bunch of sorority girls to say “Oh, but you’re such a nice guy.”
- Touchdown-throwing mule
- Jar to hold
Top Ten Ways to Organize a Group Hug
- Misinterpret the huddle
- Poison people, tell them only antidote is hugging
- Spend $300,000 on One Campus initiative
- Alphabetically
- Join a sorority
- eVite
- Flail arms on crowded BART train
- Cast Robin Williams
- Get drunk and break down in front of your
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Getting Flyered on Sproul
- Matrix-style slo-mo moves around flyers
- Light self on fire
- Pretend you’re blind
- Be non-Asian / non-Greek material
- Say “No thanks.”
- Walk on your hands
- Hold grenade in one hand, a bomb in other, and say “Sorry, my hands are full.”
Top Five Wartime Pick-Up Lines
- “It’s time to rebuild America … by fucking.”
- “Are you from Talibanisee? Because you’re the only Taliban-I-see.”
- “You’re either sleeping with me or you’re with the terrorists.”
- “Aren’t you glad that was only a roofie I put in your drink?
