- In little kid voice: “Once … this time … once upon this time … I…once ….this time…I fucked my dog.”
- “Puck, Why you steeeck your fingers in my pee-a-nut butter?”
- “Can I have the needle when you’re finished with it?”
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Non-Pornographic Porno Movies
- All Aural ActionGA$A3 Hearing Solutions Presents: Ear Pirates II
- Playboy Presents: Playboy Corporation’s Fiscal Report 2001
- Jungle Fever: Malaria
- Lesbian Prisoners in Solitary
- Housewives That Set a Decent Example VII
- Inhibition
- Girls Gone to Sleep
- Boys Avoiding Boys
- Deep Thought
Top Ten Alternate Names for Urinal Splashback
- Freaking Miracle (if you’re a girl)
- Urinal Cake’s Sweet Revenge
- More Successful Than Usual
- Porcelain Wrath
- Conservation of Momentum
- Handwashing Justifier
- Priest’s Blessing
- Acid Rain
- Blowback
- Sierra Mist
Top Ten Signs You’re in the Wrong Neighborhood
- You’re smiling all the time in
Frownytown - You’re in Tomorrowland, but you were looking for Superman: The Ride
- You have a star on your sleeve, but everyone else has no star
- You’re a Who, and you ended up in
Top Ten Ways to Feel Insignificant
-
Be a daughter born in China
-
Turn self into pixel
- Appear on cover of Asianweek
- Ask out and be rejected by Anne Cooper, this girl in my co-op
- Give the best speech of your life; realize you’re mute
- Realize you
Top Ten Emergencies at the Elementary School Health Office
- Poorly funded school system
- A really painful splinter under the thumbnail that no one can help you with because there’s not even really a nurse working in the so-called “health office,” and everyone’s too frightened of lawsuits to pick up
Top Ten Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator
- Explain that if your randomly-chosen floor matches the floor chosen by your potential lover in the other elevator, you were meant to be together
- Take elevator from first to second floor, you lazy, non-stair-walking ASUC fuck
- Press every button, get
Top Ten Alternative Names for Military Campaign
- Operation Let’s Not Hit Another Goddamn Embassy
- Operation I Slam, You Slam, We All Slam Islam
- Great American Smoke-Out
- Fruit Bars & Cluster Bombs
- Operation Noble But Conflicted Eagle
- Operation Towel Whip
- Operation Last Crusade
- Iran’s Warning Shot
- Smackdown!
- Muslim
Top Ten Poorly Conceived Superhero Duos
- Etch-a-Sketch Man & Mr. Jitters
- Stand-Man & Can’t-Stand- Stand-Man -Man
- Love Man & Friend Girl
- Superman & Lousyman
- BAMN-Man & Bam-Bam
- Daredevil & DareJesus
- Chalkman & White Board
- Riddler & “See Answer on Page 9” Man
- Sharkman & Cap’n Chum
Top Ten Lifetime Original Movies
- The Making of a Lifetime Original Movie: A Lifetime Original Movie
- Some Dumb Movie For Women
- Hold On For One More Day: The Carnie Wilson Story
- So Many Tears
- Estranged Boyfriend Abortion Doctor Rape Incest
- Ex-Husband Killer Stalker Man
- My
