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Nothing. Let your new dog do all the talking.
“So … um … I guess I’ll … see you around then. Yeah.”
“The last five dogs took this way better than you’re taking it, you big baby.”
“Dry those tears, … Read More
Standing on block of ice with a moose around his neck
Standing on block of ice with a noose around his neck
Father’s Day gift includes coupons for chores and coupons for crack
In lieu of posters, nails old blocks … Read More
Etch-a-Sketch Man & Mr. Jitters
Stand-Man & Can’t-Stand- Stand-Man -Man
Love Man & Friend Girl
Superman & Lousyman
BAMN-Man & Bam-Bam
Daredevil & DareJesus
Chalkman & White Board
Riddler & “See Answer on Page 9” Man
Sharkman & Cap’n Chum … Read More
The Making of a Lifetime Original Movie: A Lifetime Original Movie
Some Dumb Movie For Women
Hold On For One More Day: The Carnie Wilson Story
So Many Tears
Estranged Boyfriend Abortion Doctor Rape Incest
Ex-Husband Killer Stalker Man
My … Read More
X-communication Files
Really Big Family Ties
Growing Pains in My Side After Being Speared
Cardinals of Hazzard
Golden Grails
Calvary Hillbillies
Full Mass
Who’s on the Cross?
She’s the Pope
Who’s the Pope?
… Read More
Amnesia
Undying hate of Cal football fans
The last five years of his life back
30-second video of team highlights (1997-2001)
A bunch of sorority girls to say “Oh, but you’re such a nice guy.”
Touchdown-throwing mule
Jar to hold … Read More
Misinterpret the huddle
Poison people, tell them only antidote is hugging
Spend $300,000 on One Campus initiative
Alphabetically
Join a sorority
eVite
Flail arms on crowded BART train
Cast Robin Williams
Get drunk and break down in front of your … Read More
Matrix-style slo-mo moves around flyers
Light self on fire
Pretend you’re blind
Be non-Asian / non-Greek material
Say “No thanks.”
Walk on your hands
Hold grenade in one hand, a bomb in other, and say “Sorry, my hands are full.” … Read More
“It’s time to rebuild America … by fucking.”
“Are you from Talibanisee? Because you’re the only Taliban-I-see.”
“You’re either sleeping with me or you’re with the terrorists.”
“Aren’t you glad that was only a roofie I put in your drink? … Read More
“Yeah, this is pretty good. I guess.”
“Perforated condoms really let my dick breathe.”
“Not only am I underage, I’m also a cop.”
“It’s okay, I can’t get pregnant; I’m a man.”
“They’re both stuck.”
“It’s stuck.”
“This is a … Read More
