I am a man of many talents. In fact, “Talents” is my middle name. Or, at least it is whenever I fucking want it to be. You see, I’m gifted in the divine art of making fake names. You may … Read More
Tag Archives: Gabe Reilich
Cosmetic Surgery for Animals
It is apparent that our society is becoming increasingly sexualized. From Lindsay Lohan’s big-ass titties to Donald Rumsfeld’s vagina tightening, male and female sexuality are being pushed to the limits through the wonders of cosmetic surgery. The pressure to look … Read More
Stupidity Mistaken for Wittiness
At a recent soiree, the moronic comments of Cal sophomore Tiffany Hilm were mistaken for clever witticisms. Her inane comments dealt with subjects ranging from politics to music.
Social psychologist Andy Dolden explained the phenomenon. “When you have a beautiful … Read More
<i>Garden State</i> Soundtrack Gets Local Man Laid
Josh Newbin, a Berkeley junior, got laid last night solely because of the Garden State soundtrack. The album, featuring soul-wrenching songs from such artists as The Shins and Frou Frou, is known to give those listening to it an aura … Read More
Intelligent Life?
A Report from SETI Institute
Since the dawn of time in 1943, we at the SETI Institute have scoured the depths of the universe in hopes of finding life outside our solar system. So far we have been unsuccessful, prompting many critics to call our … Read More
