In what can only be described as a surprising turn of events, actor and former drug addict Charlie Sheen was right about everything he has declared in the past several weeks.
In response to what had previously been considered exaggerated … Read More
Last Tuesday, freshman Corey S. O’Malley successfully replaced the last vestiges of his personal identity with school spirit.
O’Malley had spent months transforming himself into a cold husk of a man fed only by the success of the various sports … Read More
WE are the Arbiters of man’s destiny! Furry adorable death machines nibbling at the catnip of eternity.
Our teeth are sunk into their youtubes,
that million fathom deep
pit of futile commotion.
Not since those Egyptian foolS have … Read More
Prince Squarejaw: I was very clear about my proclivities when we first met. I don’t know why this is suddenly a problem.
Cinderella: I’m willing to indulge his little quirks every now and then, but maybe we don’t have … Read More
In response to recent allegations concerning the sources of an already-dwindling food supply, the Soylent Corporation has released a statement refuting “the heinous claims besmirching our fine and delicious product.”
At the center of the controversy is Soylent Green, the … Read More
Welcome fellow Calservatives to Reagan House, where the most free thinking individuals come together to laugh at the mindless sheep living in other co-ops. Members of those houses spend all their time around people who constantly validate their ideology. We, … Read More