Amidst a hundred candidates, waving their large placards and thrusting sheets of meaningless paper into the unwilling hands of the students of this campus, there stood a dedicated bunch. Parking themselves 30 or 40 feet in front of Sather Gate, … Read More
Tag Archives: Ben Birken
One Non Blonde
No, I didn’t spend my winter in Jamaica. No, I haven’t spent lots of time in the sun. Yes, I did get my hair colored. What, you’re shocked? Guys actually do that? Well, child, sit down, take out a nice … Read More
Cowboy Question Answered
In a surprise statement, singer Paula Cole’s haunting question, “Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?,” has finally been answered. Funded by radio listeners driven mad by Ms. Cole’s mixture of whining and whispering, the Rand Corporation has completed a 6 … Read More
Pimps are from Mars, Hos are from Venus
Ever wonder about other people? Do you have a lot of questions about that guy standing over there? Or maybe that girl – you know, the one with the nose? We pretty much have all the answers, but we don’t … Read More
Prop 209 Warfare
Very recently, a group of young gents and ladies established a human barricade at Sather Gate. Linked together at the arms and legs and standing back to back (much resembling a phospholipid bilayer), they cut off two of the three … Read More
Ker-plunk!
We’ve all been there, the pressure building up. The only thing in your mind is the sweet feeling of relief when the deed is done. But at what costs, such great innumerable costs, almost too terrifying to discuss. Yes, we’ve … Read More
