Tag Archives: Allen Haim

Congress Duped

Much confusion was generated on the floor of the Senate recently when, after losing a vote on a bill he authored, Majority Leader Trent Lott broke into laughter and triumphantly declared, “Ha! Opposite day!”

“Damn,” one senator commented, “that really … Read More

Women for Gore

Many women came away very disappointed from last week’s “Women for Gore” convention. “We wanted to see blood and guts, man, and all we got was a boring guy talking about China. That fucking sucked!” commented one woman. Another added, … Read More

Ignorance is Strength

In yet another shining example of American Newspeak, major clothing corporations have unveiled a human rights oriented plan to label new clothes “No Sweat,” in effect saying that sweatshop employed pre-pubescents will be given antiperspirant and towels. This follows in … Read More

1998 Gulf War interview

A Heuristic Squelch Exclusive

We at the Squelch, as part of our continuous efforts to, uhh, start war, have conducted small interviews with some of the key players in this conflict.

Squelch: let’s start with you Madeleine Albright. What’s your take on the situation?… Read More

What’s Mine Is Yours

The U.S government has refused to sign a treaty, already signed by over 100 other nations, banning the use of land mines. Top military officials have maintained that certain types of land mines are absolutely essential in times of war, … Read More