Lessons From Abroad

Studying abroad is an experience that sends many eager young students out with a pat on the back into this crazy mixed up world of ours. After a friendly goodbye from Jan at the EAP office and a little teensy bit of paper work, you’re on your way. Here are some pointers that will make your travels more enjoyable, courtesy of the Squelch.


Topics to avoid:
World War 1
World War 2
Partitioning your hard drive
Parting your hair
Moses’ parting of the Red Sea


Canada’s greatest contribution to the eager student is the culture it is brimming with. Canada has given us Celine Dion, Alanis Morissette, Alan Thicke, that yummy Canadian restaurant in the Food Court, umm, numerous Nobel-prize winning novels, and oh so much more!


France is different. They do things differently in France. Just wait until you’re getting it in the ass from a mustachioed Frenchy. You’ll see. “So … much … cheese …”

Prostitutes, too, are different in France. “Oney, I am sirstee,” says Colette. You get up and bring her some Parisian mineral water. “You tinee-brain eenglish bedvetting type! You viper of uzzer peeple’s bottoms!” she venomously spits at you. “I vant you to say zat you too have been sirsty! You oppressor of zee french speereet! Prenez la vache!”


Ball bearings! How nice. No really, just what I always… But ball bearings! Wow.


Topics to avoid:
Just about anything you say is liable to get you your ass kicked.


Whatever you do, do not say the following: “I mean, it’s called ‘Alsace-Lorraine,’ for God’s sake. It obviously belongs to France, you morons. If it was called ‘Der Buchten Bechten Bachten’ or something like that, you might have a point. Again I will remind you that it’s called ‘Alsace- Lorraine.’ Honestly.” Once again, do not say the preceding.


.sweater a forget don’t And .happy mothe’ ye’ Make .Jews ,yup ,and ,women ,phones-cell ,Matzos .Israel to Go .food abundant and humidity %98 of combination the to due be to seems This “.life my of time” the had having reports Israel to goes who Everybody