- Francis Baconburger
- Piedegger
- Foucaureos
- Russell Sprouts
- Bhegel
- Descartichoke
- Aris-tater-totle
- Nietzscheese
- Corn on the Hobbes
- Kanteloupe
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten Juiced-Up Athletes
Top Ten Sexy Holidays
- Yeaster
- St. Fatdick’s Day
- Hannucock
- Veteranus Day
- Indepenis Day
- Swalloween
- Arboner Day
- Vagentine’s Day
- Cocklumbus Day
- Ass Wednesday
Top Ten Literary Video Games
- Watership Down Down Up Up Left Right Left Right B A Start
- A Tale of Two Sim Cities
- The Samus Also Rises
- The Legend of Zelda Fitzgerald
- The Maltese Falcon Punch
- Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Engineer, Sniper, Medic
- Animal Farmville
Top Ten Coen Brothers Pornos
- Ladyfillers
- Boob Simple
- The Man Who Went There
- A Seriously Well Endowed Man
- Driller’s Crossing
- Reaming Arizona
- Burn After Peeing
- The Buttfucker Proxy
- Bart In Pink
- True Clit
Top Five Childhood Diseases
- Clifford the Big Red Sore
- Jimminy Rickets
- Rababies
- Chicken Pox Nuggets
- Hepatitis ABC’s
Top Five Ways Yogurt is Like Yo Mama
- It’s in a bunch of containers in my freezer
- It’s sold for two dollars on every corner in Berkeley
- Contains yeast
- Starts to smell if you leave it in the sun
- Soft and crawling with bacteria
Lonely Scientists Make Advance in Artificial Intelligence
Excitement overtook Soda Hall this weekend when the Team for Practical Artificial Intelligence Systems announced that they were ready for the beta-testing stages of their new Robotic Female College-Student Emulator, or R.F.C.S.E. The team has been working diligently for over … Read More
Words From The Top
A Rags to Deputy Creative Editor Story
Hello reader,
As the new deputy creative editors, we thought we’d give a few words of friendly advice to those who dream of holding the glamorous position that we hold today. Now look, we’re not “better” or “smarter” than any … Read More
Local Man Wins Lottery, Nothing Goes Wrong
Last month, Berkeley resident Mark Halloway won the California Mega-Millions lottery jackpot of 47 million dollars. Sources have confirmed that, contrary to the popular aphorism, he is now happier than ever before.
“Everybody always says that money can’t buy you … Read More
