- His lectures are un-bear-able!
- Takes sabbaticals every winter.
- Finds Winnie the Pooh offensive and degrading.
- Always fighting dogs in Elizabethan England.
- Often early or late to class due to inability to read clocks.
- Your GSI is Boo Boo.
- Keeps telling
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten Sexy Holidays
- Yeaster
- St. Fatdick’s Day
- Hannucock
- Veteranus Day
- Indepenis Day
- Swalloween
- Arboner Day
- Vagentine’s Day
- Cocklumbus Day
- Ass Wednesday
Top Ten Literary Video Games
- Watership Down Down Up Up Left Right Left Right B A Start
- A Tale of Two Sim Cities
- The Samus Also Rises
- The Legend of Zelda Fitzgerald
- The Maltese Falcon Punch
- Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Engineer, Sniper, Medic
- Animal Farmville
Top Ten Reality Shakespeare Plays
- Much Ado About the Kardashians
- King Lear’s Fantasy Factory
- Two Gentlemen of Jersey
- Merry Sister Wives of Windsor
- The Cake Merchant of Venice
- Rock of Love’s Labours Lost
- Big Brothello
- Macbethanny Ever After
- Winter’s Ice-Road Trucking Tale
- Romeo and Juliet
Top Five Ways Yogurt is Like Yo Mama
- It’s in a bunch of containers in my freezer
- It’s sold for two dollars on every corner in Berkeley
- Contains yeast
- Starts to smell if you leave it in the sun
- Soft and crawling with bacteria
Top Five Childhood Diseases
- Clifford the Big Red Sore
- Jimminy Rickets
- Rababies
- Chicken Pox Nuggets
- Hepatitis ABC’s
Top Ten Coen Brothers Pornos
- Ladyfillers
- Boob Simple
- The Man Who Went There
- A Seriously Well Endowed Man
- Driller’s Crossing
- Reaming Arizona
- Burn After Peeing
- The Buttfucker Proxy
- Bart In Pink
- True Clit
New Poll Reveals Californians Consider Themselves Next Step in Human Evolution
A recent poll by the California Department of Mental Health show many Californians believe that they represent the future of man-kind. In fact, more than 30 percent of those polled were surprised by their lack of superhuman powers such as … Read More
William Henry Harrison: American Gentleman
Narrator: Most Americans are only familiar with the presidency of William Henry Harrison because of its morbid trivia, namely that it was cut short by death after a mere 32 days in office. What is all too often left unsaid … Read More
Lonely Scientists Make Advance in Artificial Intelligence
Excitement overtook Soda Hall this weekend when the Team for Practical Artificial Intelligence Systems announced that they were ready for the beta-testing stages of their new Robotic Female College-Student Emulator, or R.F.C.S.E. The team has been working diligently for over … Read More
