- Your RA.
- Pretend you are a narc.
- Call (900) numbers.
- Telekinesis.
- Square dancing.
- Snort Dipsticks and run around on a sugar high.
- Pet-sitting for police drug sniffing dogs.
- Sniffing others’ clothes after they return from Co-op party.
- Virtual kegger.
- Get
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- Manifest Destiny.
- Find magic voodoo potion for Hillary’s hair.
- Clinton itching for Caribbean harem.
- To release pent-up frustration from health-care fiasco.
- To stave off impending invasion of U.S.
- We’re bigger than they are.
- Re-assert world dominance through crushing defeat of
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- “Calgon, take me away!”
- “Damn, but don’t he look like Charles Manson?”
- “I’ll bet you twenty bucks he rises from the dead.”
- “Hey man, can you do that `water into wine’ bit right now? We’re all kind of thirsty.
- “Jesus
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- …you wanna Minute Man?
- …who needs liberty when you’ve got libido?
- …wanna get tarred and feathered?
- …I’m into life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good piece of ass.
- …the British are coming, so why ain’t we?
- …you’re suspected for
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- Schindler’s Lick
- In the Body Cavity of the Father
- Ace Ventura: Pet Molester
- The Age of Touching Yourself
- Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape
- The Ladsucker Proxy
- The Joy Suck Club
- Long Cuts
- Reality Nibbles
- Six Degrees of Masturbation
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- “Tastes great” / “Less filling”
- To provide the inspiration for the Franklin Mint(tm) Civil War Chess
Set.
- So that white men could only exploit women and animals.
- The North was feeling rejected.
- The devil made us do it.
- Oil. (oops,
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- Players’ inability to count led them to believe that they were in fact ahead.
- Unanimous decision made by players to spend more time on schoolwork.
- Team was paid off by Clinton administration so that Arkansas would win.
- Death of John
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- In the stall of any public restroom.
- In your sleep.
- During any job interview.
- Right now (go ahead, don’t be shy).
- At the end of a sad movie.
- When trying to attract women in a singles’ bar.
- When lifting your
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- Fear of angry, hungry urban youth with goatees.
- Drivers beaten by aggressive Vegans.
- No tips from homeless.
- No tips from starving students.
- Police escort necessary for home deliveries.
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- A great photo opportunity
- The contents of Al Capone’s vault
- Cheese- mounds and mounds of cheese
- Dirt and rocks
- Dirt
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