- Come up with flattering ways to describe most recent Cal football loss.
- Invent goofy personals ads.
- Laugh about Josh’s hair.
- Try to find humor in NO EXIT cartoon.
- Go back to their regular jobs at “Hooked on Phonics”.
- Practice showing
… Read More
- Get your money’s worth at Sizzler.
- Get paid $30 to lose the weight (and eat anything you want!).
- 2 seats for the price of one.
- Free lifetime PriceClub membership.
- Good excuse for small looking penis.
- Earn extra cash working as
… Read More
- “Tastes great” / “Less filling”
- To provide the inspiration for the Franklin Mint(tm) Civil War Chess
Set.
- So that white men could only exploit women and animals.
- The North was feeling rejected.
- The devil made us do it.
- Oil. (oops,
… Read More
- Firing of the White House kitchen staff
- “Don’t ask, don’t tell”
- Vincent Foster
- Whitewater
- Hillary
- Health Care
- NAFTA
- China
- Haiti
- Bosnia
… Read More
- Slantana
- Raw Phish
- Too Short (you know, the rapper?)
- Pearl Harbor Jam
- Sushi and the Banshees
- Snoop Doggy Dogg-eater
- KimCheecago
- Rice-Cube
- Screaming Bonsais
- Toyota the Wet Sprocket
… Read More
- A sober woman
- Act I/Act II movie theater
- The Blue Oyster
- Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit
- Cesar Chavez rally
… Read More
- Interracial marriages between red and yellow dwarves.
- Used to work in Crayola(tm) factory before chocolate factory.
- They have ingested too many carrots (usually orally, but not always).
- What the hell’s an Oompa Loompa?
- They eat goldfishes.
… Read More
- “Calgon, take me away!”
- “Damn, but don’t he look like Charles Manson?”
- “I’ll bet you twenty bucks he rises from the dead.”
- “Hey man, can you do that `water into wine’ bit right now? We’re all kind of thirsty.
- “Jesus
… Read More
- …you wanna Minute Man?
- …who needs liberty when you’ve got libido?
- …wanna get tarred and feathered?
- …I’m into life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good piece of ass.
- …the British are coming, so why ain’t we?
- …you’re suspected for
… Read More
- Schindler’s Lick
- In the Body Cavity of the Father
- Ace Ventura: Pet Molester
- The Age of Touching Yourself
- Who’s Eating Gilbert Grape
- The Ladsucker Proxy
- The Joy Suck Club
- Long Cuts
- Reality Nibbles
- Six Degrees of Masturbation
… Read More
