- Dignity
- The monolith from 2001
- A surprise party
- A cat, a radioactive isotope, triggering device, and poison
- Carton of milk
- Wolf bait
- Safeway club card
- The “monium” list
- A Fabuloso burrito
- A giant, steaming turd
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Things You Wonder About Your Roommate
- Why is his hand still on my cock?
- Why does he get a football scholarship if the team’s just going to get its ass kicked anyway?
- If the Chinese are so good at laundry, how come his clothes are always
Top Ten Meat-Flavored Cereals
- Honey Bunches of Lamb
- Venison Krispies
- Frosted Mini-Meats
- Cinnamon Roast Crunch
- Meaties
- Shredded Beef
- Ducky Charms
- Goatmeal
- Cracklin’ Pork Bran
- Sausage Loops
Top Ten Things to Do at Berkeley Hot Tubs
- Make thousands of gremlins
- Massage Shirley Dean’s big
greasy bologna tits - Make enormous amounts of
Ramen - Sit on the drain and get your ass
sucked out of your ass - Have high-power Japanese
business meetings - Wear floaties
- Burn your nut sack
Top Ten Canadian Things
- Poland
- The Canadian Dream
- “Bye, bye Miss Canadian Pie”
- Guess Who’s hit song “Canadian
Woman” - War
- David Bowie’s “Young Canadian”
- Canadian Graffiti
- 0.33-meter-long hot dogs
- Canadian cheese singles
- American bacon
Top Ten Things Overheard At The Morgue
- “That’s not rigor mortis!”
- “We’ve secretly replaced the embalming fluid with Folger’s Crystals… let’s watch.”
- “You’re right – it does taste just like chicken!”
- “Where does this piece go?”
- “Well, if she hadn’t died, she’d be 18 by now…”
- “I
Top Ten Things Forbidden in England
- France
- Mass
- Wildlife
- Child labor laws
- Meat on the bone
- Reveling
- Treating the Irish as human
beings - Daryl Strawberry
- Smiling
- Having any pudding before eating
your meat
Top Three Penises
- Alan Greenspan (’cause he’s a penis)
- Yours
- Mine
Top Ten Things Said by Romance
- “No, seriously, what the fuck is
romance philology?” - “What the fuck is romance
philology?” - “The new guy’s double majoring
in something useful. Kill him.” - “Some of us don’t need to earn
money after college, Mr. Bourgeois
Oppressor.” - “Some guys are
Top Ten Nicknames for Chancellor Berdhal
-
Chancellor Eleven
-
Really Really Boring Man
- The Dessert Fox
- Darth Berdhal
- Polyphemus
- Muffin
- Dollface
- Fingercuffs
- Tex
- Berdy
