_The wicked crawl from the wrong side of the cradle; their first words out of the womb are lies. Poison, lethal rattlesnake poison, drips from their forked tongues- Deaf to threats, deaf to charm, decades of wax built up in … Read More

Communication is a neat thing. It’s neat not only because it gives sorority chicks something to major in while being completely blitzed out of their minds on coke, but also because there are so many ways to go about it. … Read More

Spring Break in Rosarito beach, Mexico- you’re probably thinking of sun, cheap beer and erotic grinding with hot members of the opposite sex. And for good reason. Legend has it that Rosarito has provided these three commodities for generations. Unfortunately, … Read More

It is standard in the life of any neurotic complainer to run out of personal flaws to foment over. When this happens, he casts his cynical gaze out at the world around him and continues his life of criticism. Scholars … Read More

(More or less sung to the tune of Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Sometimes I feel like I hate my lab partners.
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the … Read More

While wandering the Net on my brand new computer, I found what must be the next savage attempt to sabatoge my GPA and ruin my already crappy social life: Nintendo Emulation. By running a program such as Nesticle (don’t even … Read More