Latest Issue
Volume 32, Issue 1:
The Heuristic Playboy
Volume 23- Issue 2

Top Ten Ways You’re Wasting Your College Years

November 1, 2013
  1. You’ve been in college for three years and you STILL haven’t been to a frat party
  2. Emma doesn’t answer your phone calls anymore
  3. You gave Emma a love letter on her wedding day
  4. You’ve asked other women out but you just spend the whole date thinking about Emma
  5. When you made eye contact, she saw right into your soul
  6. The smell of her hair reminded you of a summer’s day
  7. You knew Emma was the most beautiful woman you’d ever meet but you still didn’t ask her out
  8. You sat behind Emma in section but spent the whole time gazing at the back of her head
  9. You’re not on a first name basis with workers at any pizza joint
  10. You’ve never skipped class to do anything more fun
Volume 23- Issue 1

Top Ten Fucked-Up Animal Movies

September 1, 2013
  1. We Bought a Zoo
  2. A Siberian Tiger Film
  3. Saola, or the 120 Days of Sodom
  4. Altered Snakes
  5. Apocalypse Cow
  6. Capybara Holocaust
  7. Persian Blue Velvet
  8. A Clockwork Orangutan
  9. Zero Dog Thirty
  10. Naked Mole Rat Lunch
Volume 23- Issue 1

Top Ten Worst Bands

September 1, 2013
  1. Mumford & Sons
  2. Waka Flocka Firebombing of Dresden
  3. Gym Class Hiroshima
  4. The National Socialist
  5. Michael Bubonic Plague
  6. Child Soulja Boy
  7. Trail of Tears for Fears
  8. Outkastration
  9. Passion Pits
  10. Animal Abuse Collective
Volume 23- Issue 1

Top Ten Signs You Go To UC Berkeley

September 1, 2013
  1. You’re easily amused by a list about how you go to UC Berkeley
  2. There is a big bell tower in the middle of your campus known as the Campanile
  3. The school newspaper is called the Daily Cal
  4. Your school is the oldest in the University of California system
  5. You know where Sproul Plaza is since it’s a pretty central part of campus
  6. Stanford is your school’s main rival
  7. When people ask where you go to school you tell them you go to UC Berkeley
  8. All of your classes are on the UC Berkeley campus
  9. You choose to go to UC Berkeley
  10. You have a letter saying you were accepted to UC Berkeley
Volume 22- Issue 2

Top Ten Best Times to Use Comic Sans

February 1, 2013
  1. When you’re not exotic enough for Papyrus
  2. Toddler obituary
  3. Quirky high school teacher’s Powerpoint presentation
  4. Your iCarly spect script
  5. When Windings just won’t cut it
  6. Funeral announcement for people you hate
  7. Ironic tattoos
  8. When your roommate’s paper is due in 10 mins
  9. Middle schooler’s blog
  10. Memos on casual Fridays
Volume 22- Issue 2

Top Ten Musical Presidents

February 1, 2013
  1. Bill Clinton
  2. Jimmy Eat World Carter
  3. Millard Fillharmonic
  4. Theo the Doors Roosevelt
  5. Woodrow Whistlin’
  6. Thomas Jefferson Airplane
  7. Andrew Jackson Five
  8. Baroque Obama
  9. Harry Trumandolin
  10. James K Polka
Volume 22- Issue 2

Top Ten Things That Make You Cry

February 1, 2013
  1. Seeing the first Onion-American baseball player hitting a home run
  2. When your onion goes into a coma and becomes a vegetable
  3. When you remember the Great Onion Genocide
  4. Seeing red and green onions living in harmony
  5. When your pet onion dies
  6. Seeing your onion with another chef
  7. When you tripped on an onion and hurt your head
  8. Dicing onions
  9. Slicing onions
  10. Chopping onions