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In the stall of any public restroom.
In your sleep.
During any job interview.
Right now (go ahead, don’t be shy).
At the end of a sad movie.
When trying to attract women in a singles’ bar.
When lifting your … Read More
Pot Snapple(tm)
Pot Chex(tm) (try it in part mix!)
Hash browns
Pot slurpees
Pot pot-pies
Pot sushi
Pot bagels (with pot schmear at Noah’s)
Pot beer
Pot spam
Pot Ramen
… Read More
Write a goofy book about the future, but make everything vague
Watch Seinfeld reruns when they were new
Bring back aluminum cans used before recycling was invented and get
Return to the good ol’ days of love and … Read More
Any girl who is “not feeling fresh today”
The Energizer Bunny
Larry H. Parker
The Magnavox dog
Sally Struthers trying to persuade people to feed the children
The Pizza Hut Bigfoot delivery dork
Russ from the Lake Edna KFC
The … Read More
Stay home
Ride RTD buses (who are we kidding?).
Transporter beam
Personal helicopter
Commute once a week instead of daily
Telecommute
Take the Red Line subway (all 3 miles of it!)
Take the Metrolink and relax in comfort and style … Read More
Nirvana – “’Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Remixes”
Snoop Doggy Dogg – “Hooked on Phonics”
Madonna – “Dining In, Eating Out”
Garth Brooks – “Garth Garth Baby”
Michael Jackson – “This One’s for the Children”
Techno Rave Masters – “Unplugged”
Hammer … Read More
Gyne-Lotrimin
Ben-Gay
Preparation H
KY Jelly
Clearasil
… Read More
Bob Dole says so.
Olympic figure skaters wear full body armor to practice.
Kindergartners outgun their teachers in New York public schools.
New Kids on the Block concerts sell out due to guns-for-tickets
Disneyworld attendance in Florida drops .01% … Read More
Sit on the ASUC steps during school time and mope
Wear a really ugly hat
Make smoking gestures and blow in the cool night air
Clip on bellybutton ring
Dye your hair yellow/orange
… Read More
“Mmmm… ohhh… mmmm… do it baby…”
“Would you like to go to Bible study?”
“No. You really don’t want that class. Oh, no! “
“Aquarius: You will enter into a long-term commitment today. Assess your strengths and wea
“Your registration … Read More
