- In the stall of any public restroom.
- In your sleep.
- During any job interview.
- Right now (go ahead, don’t be shy).
- At the end of a sad movie.
- When trying to attract women in a singles’ bar.
- When lifting your
… Read More
- Pot Snapple(tm)
- Pot Chex(tm) (try it in part mix!)
- Hash browns
- Pot slurpees
- Pot pot-pies
- Pot sushi
- Pot bagels (with pot schmear at Noah’s)
- Pot beer
- Pot spam
- Pot Ramen
… Read More
- Write a goofy book about the future, but make everything vague
- Watch Seinfeld reruns when they were new
- Bring back aluminum cans used before recycling was invented and get
rich (Yahoo!)
- Return to the good ol’ days of love and
… Read More
- Any girl who is “not feeling fresh today”
- The Energizer Bunny
- Larry H. Parker
- The Magnavox dog
- Sally Struthers trying to persuade people to feed the children
- The Pizza Hut Bigfoot delivery dork
- Russ from the Lake Edna KFC
- The
… Read More
- Stay home
- Ride RTD buses (who are we kidding?).
- Transporter beam
- Personal helicopter
- Commute once a week instead of daily
- Telecommute
- Take the Red Line subway (all 3 miles of it!)
- Take the Metrolink and relax in comfort and style
… Read More
- Nirvana – “’Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Remixes”
- Snoop Doggy Dogg – “Hooked on Phonics”
- Madonna – “Dining In, Eating Out”
- Garth Brooks – “Garth Garth Baby”
- Michael Jackson – “This One’s for the Children”
- Techno Rave Masters – “Unplugged”
- Hammer
… Read More
- Gyne-Lotrimin
- Ben-Gay
- Preparation H
- KY Jelly
- Clearasil
… Read More
- Bob Dole says so.
- Olympic figure skaters wear full body armor to practice.
- Kindergartners outgun their teachers in New York public schools.
- New Kids on the Block concerts sell out due to guns-for-tickets
swap.
- Disneyworld attendance in Florida drops .01%
… Read More
- Sit on the ASUC steps during school time and mope
- Wear a really ugly hat
- Make smoking gestures and blow in the cool night air
- Clip on bellybutton ring
- Dye your hair yellow/orange
… Read More
- “Mmmm… ohhh… mmmm… do it baby…”
- “Would you like to go to Bible study?”
- “No. You really don’t want that class. Oh, no!“
- “Aquarius: You will enter into a long-term commitment today. Assess your strengths and wea
- “Your registration
… Read More
