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T.G.I.F. (Thank God It's Fascist)
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Worker Unit Food Distribution 
Vestibule
- Benito Burger
- Che Panisse
- Karl’s Jr.
- Burger Absolute Monarch
- Totalitarian Akbar’s Totalitarian Bar and Grill
- Schlotsky’s East Bloc Russian Restaurant
- Steve’s North Korean BBQ
- Fascist Slice
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten North Vietnamese Pick-up Lines
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"Here's my Gulf of Tonkin resolution: Without the approval
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"I'll show you a Tet offensive, baby." - “Oh, I thought you said ph+A|…”
- “I know something that needs to be airlifted right now…”
- “You want me to beat your American ass?”
Top Ten Reasons to Marry a Dog
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Likes chasing pussy as much as you do.
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How 'bout all those nipples? - ‘Cause you knocked her up
- If you think he’s having an affair, you can lock him in the yard
- You can win any argument by rubbing her
Eat the Mean
The idea that some people have an inalienable right to eat other people is as old as the idea that you can lie as much as you want to small children. Cannibalism, also called anthropophagy by old, balding, white men … Read More
Man Survives Ordeal Inside Giant Vagina
A Berkeley resident is currently recovering from a terrifying experience involving his girlfriend’s enormous genitalia. Hank Moonves, a local computer programmer, described his adventure to reporters earlier this week:
“My girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the … Read More
Residents Baffeled by Phenomenon
Local citizens were puzzled by a bizarre incident that occurred Thursday night. The mysterious event took place as several dozen curious passersby looked on in amazement. “I was really blown away,” explained eyewitness Tom Cunningham, “I mean, this was pretty … Read More
My Summer Vacation
I went to my Nana and Baba’s hous after skool ended. they was so nice to me. they was so proud of me and my A’s in englis and P.E. Baba was a little mad cause i’m not in Peewee … Read More
The Diary of a Diety
(Selected Excerpts)
Day 0: I need something to write about. I should probably get around to creating that universe that I’ve been planning. On second thought, that sounds like a lot of work. Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow.
Day 1: Went sweeping … Read More
Gore and Davis to Square of Come November
As a fundraising stunt for the 2000
Democratic campaign, Vice President
Al Gore and California Governor Gray
Davis will compete in a nationwide
“America’s Dullest Man” election.
People across the country will be invited
to cast their vote to decide … Read More
The Backstreet Boys
A Theoretical Perspective
The world of music produces legends that put their stamp on particular moments of time. As we all know, music started in 1957. Baseball had just moved to California, and man had recently evolved from what has now come to … Read More
