-
Yoshua fights Jesus; wins in twelve rounds by unanimous decision.
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Hebrew text of evil - Communal shower in Soda
- Three headed griffon emerges from depths of Dwinelle to wreak God’s holy vengeance on Berkeley
- Re-release of Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten Pornographic UC Berkeley Building Names
-
Sproul Hall (because they fuck you in the ass)
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Mammorial Stadium - The Seize Her Shove It Center
- Aass School of Business
- Zellercock
- Muffit
- Poon Tang Center
- VLSBDSM
- Twatimer
- Le Cunt
Top Ten Quantum Mechanical They Might Be Giants Songs
-
Spiraling Schr+A|dinger
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Everything Right is Wrong Again because of the Ultraviolet Catastrophe - Your Newtonian Friend
- Electron Diffraction Killed My Dog
- Number e
- She’s Actual Size, But We Can’t Know Her Momentum if We Know That Size
- Square Well Potential in
Top Ten “moniums”
- This list blows-monium
- Make yo bitch monium
- Monimonium
- Vic DeMonium
- Alimonium
- Plutoniumonium
- Koalamonium
- Pandemonium
Top Ten Meat-Flavored Cereals
- Honey Bunches of Lamb
- Venison Krispies
- Frosted Mini-Meats
- Cinnamon Roast Crunch
- Meaties
- Shredded Beef
- Ducky Charms
- Goatmeal
- Cracklin’ Pork Bran
- Sausage Loops
Top Ten Things to Do at Berkeley Hot Tubs
- Make thousands of gremlins
- Massage Shirley Dean’s big
greasy bologna tits - Make enormous amounts of
Ramen - Sit on the drain and get your ass
sucked out of your ass - Have high-power Japanese
business meetings - Wear floaties
- Burn your nut sack
Top Ten Canadian Things
- Poland
- The Canadian Dream
- “Bye, bye Miss Canadian Pie”
- Guess Who’s hit song “Canadian
Woman” - War
- David Bowie’s “Young Canadian”
- Canadian Graffiti
- 0.33-meter-long hot dogs
- Canadian cheese singles
- American bacon
Top Ten Things Forbidden in England
- France
- Mass
- Wildlife
- Child labor laws
- Meat on the bone
- Reveling
- Treating the Irish as human
beings - Daryl Strawberry
- Smiling
- Having any pudding before eating
your meat
Top Ten Things Said by Romance
- “No, seriously, what the fuck is
romance philology?” - “What the fuck is romance
philology?” - “The new guy’s double majoring
in something useful. Kill him.” - “Some of us don’t need to earn
money after college, Mr. Bourgeois
Oppressor.” - “Some guys are
Top Ten Things Overheard At The Morgue
- “That’s not rigor mortis!”
- “We’ve secretly replaced the embalming fluid with Folger’s Crystals… let’s watch.”
- “You’re right – it does taste just like chicken!”
- “Where does this piece go?”
- “Well, if she hadn’t died, she’d be 18 by now…”
- “I
