Top Ten Signs of the Apocalypse

  1. Yoshua fights Jesus; wins in twelve rounds by unanimous decision.

  2. Hebrew text of evil
  3. Communal shower in Soda
  4. Three headed griffon emerges from depths of Dwinelle to wreak God’s holy vengeance on Berkeley
  5. Re-release of Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now
  6. The Heuristic Squelch does an Apocalypse-themed issue
  7. No line at financial aid office
  8. Ethnic Studies student finds job
  9. Blue Heaven staying in business; not holding a sale
  10. Cal actually wins Big Game