- When you were five you said “Someday I’ll go to Berkeley and live in a shithole apartment.”
- You could win the lottery if you wanted to
- Is this your card?
- You’re homeless and need change
- You knew Original Sin was a terrible movie before it even came out
- You win every game of Minesweeper
- You’re friends with Dionne Warwick
- You had a feeling this list was going to happen
- You’re Jamaican and you have an infomercial
- All your spoons are bent
