- Try in vain to do anything whatsoever, batting it hopelessly with his tiny paws, while his patronizing human masters fawn over him.
- Sell it; buy tuna fish with profits
- Break it in half, because he knows karate
- Poop on it while reading “Ulysses”
- Get wasted on catnip while listening, decide that it’s a piece of shit, and laugh himself silly while ramming his head into a wall over and over
- Laugh at all the other hyperintelligent cats, who must content themselves with fleeting radio transmissions.
- Listen to it while watching “The Wizard of Oz.” Scoff at less intelligent cats who believe the movie matches up with the record
- Utilize superior feline hearing to determine that the sound quality didn’t match that of a CD
- Use it to create a chart-topping duet with Paula Abdul
- Scratch it up…literally!!!
