Volume 8- Issue 3 Top Ten Advantages of Having a Giant Tapeworm November 1, 1998 top ten All the benefits of bulimia without staining your teeth. No need for leeches. A tapeworm is man’s second best friend. If you’re Jewish, you can eat pork. Cheaper than getting reamed. Tapeworms are recordable, unlike CD worms. Not as bad as having a razor-wire worm. You can measure stuff really easily. Smaller bowel movements. You can drive in the carpool lane whenever you want.