Past Imperfect
Desired clientele: English teachers
Undesired clientele: The passive voice
Décor: Flowery, yet subtly evocative of customers’ inner thoughts
On the TV behind the counter: _Masterpiece Theater
_
Signature cocktail: The Dylan Tonic
Stalag 17
Desired clientele: WWII vets
Undesired clientele: The Krauts!
Décor: Mostly Betty Grable pinups
On the TV behind the counter: Tom Hanks reading a Bible out loud.
Signature cocktail: Sgt. Schnapps
The Alcoholodeck
Desired clientele: Trekkies
Undesired clientele: Evil alternate-universe selves
Décor: Futuristic, but with no apparent restrooms
On the TV behind the counter: Gee, what do you think?
Signature cocktail: Synthohol
The Lair
Desired clientele: Supervillains
Undesired clientele: Infernal do-gooders, frat boys
Décor: Volcano/Arctic/Desert/Jungle theme
On the TV behind the counter: Lifetime
Signature cocktail: They just call it “the serum”
The Opiate of the Masses
Desired clientele: Marxists
Undesired clientele: People with jobs
Décor: Functional
On the TV behind the counter: CNBC ironically
Signature cocktail: Molotov
Bar
Desired clientele: Drunks
Undesired clientele: AA sponsors
Décor: Blurry
On the TV behind the counter: somethinurrrghleemelone
Signature cocktail: Rubbing alcohol and tears
