- Foreplay involves complimentary bread
- Tosses your salad with Ranch and croutons
- Wants it 3 times a day
- Breaks up with you by saying, “It’s not you, it’s my high cholesterol”
- Uses a napkin as a Dental Dam
- Gives you hand jobs with a hot dog bun
- Adds carrots and onions to the hot tub
- Gave you A1-brand cologne
- Insists on lubricating with gravy
- Hickeys require band-aids
