- Your Cal sweatshirt is dirty
- Because you wear a stylish blouse, miniskirt, and heels to bed every night
- Zipper stuck on onesie
- Your bookie accepts laundry as currency
- Out of tampons
- Show me someone who can get through fifty minutes of Nutri Sci 1 without masturbating, and I’ll show you a wheelchair kid with no arms whose assistant is off today
- You are a ghost who died during a slumber party in 251 Dwinelle
- Need to keep up image as one of those
- You don’t yet have a boyfriend, but are probably too fat to get one. Or fit into pants, tubby
- You already have a boyfriend
