- Never admit you’re wrong, and be immortal
- Use obscure phrases to hoist them by their own petard
- Successfully throw three bean bags through clown’s mouth at Rhetorical Carnival
- Make jazz hands until your opponent
is dazzled
- Liberal use of American flag
- Hit them with the folding chair of superior rhetoric, and then a regular one
- Carry a parrot that’s always right, and basically rehash whatever it says
- Change into your argument pants
- Finally, finally reveal why you always carry a trident
- Admit that they’re right, and you’re wrong, but only about them being right
