President to Dress Like Ninja

In an effort to bolster sagging public approval ratings, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced today that President Bush would be delivering his upcoming State of the Union address in the costume of the Japanese silent assassin, the “ninja.”

“This is simply Bush’s attempt to disguise the fact that [Democratic presidential hopeful] [Wesley] Clark is a more experienced ninja from a more respected dojo,” said Washington Post correspondent Marcia Goodwyn.

Upon vocalizing her objections to the issue, she slunk over with a dart in her neck. In response, McClellan exclaimed, “Curse you Spiderman!” while shaking his fist in the air.

Reports of Spiderman’s involvement in the incident remain unconfirmed.