Top Ten Things your Father told you not to tell Mommy

  1. I’m gay, you’re gay, we’re all gay
  2. You can help yourself to Mom as long as you pretend you’re me
  3. The babysitter’s dead
  4. I hide the porn in the veggie crisper
  5. Your mother was adopted
  6. I “make love” to your mother, but I “fuck” the dog
  7. Your mother’s barren, so you must have her children
  8. Your mom’s cooking sucks
  9. Sometimes I just want to be held
  10. Son, I’m your mother. Also, this is a paradox