Roommate Impersonated on Instant Messenger

Berkeley student Roger Haines fraudulently represented himself as roommate Thomas Marx by writing messages using Marx’s AOL Instant Messenger screen name, sources reported Tuesday. Haines claims that he was merely using his roommate’s computer to print a document, and the Instant Messenger account had signed on automatically.

“It’s not like I stole his [Marx’s] password and set out to fool everyone,” said Haines. “But I was using the computer and all these people started messaging me, and suddenly I realized I was sitting on a golden opportunity for hilarity and hijinks. I’d be an idiot to waste it.”

Many friends of Marx maintain that they were not duped by Haines’ ruse. “I thought it was suspicious when Tom kept talking about how he’d slept with my mom,” said Zoe Cattrall, also known as SrfrG12001. “But when he started saying things like, ‘I’m such a big stupid moron, that’s how stupid and dumb I am,’ I definitely knew something was up.”

Jack Sampson, or UNIXlvr28, agrees: “Most people don’t spend a lot of time talking about how stupid and lame they are. They especially don’t follow up such self-deprecating remarks with sudden praise for their super-genius, studly-handsome roommate Roger Haines.”

Other friends resent the deception. “I got really concerned for Tom when he told me he liked to molest little boys,” said Clyde Segal, Leydeezman18. “But I was touched that he trusted me enough to open up about his problem, and I was totally prepared to help him get counseling and, you know, be the supportive friend. You can imagine how I felt taken advantage of when I realized it was just a prank.”

Upon notification that he had been misrepresented online, Marx stated, “Oh, really? Huh.”