MERLIN: Oh, you did know already. Right. Well, it will be a privilege to speak with you
HS: Good morning Merlin. It’s truly a privilege to speak with you here today. Your ability to predict the future is unparalleled. I guess that’s because you experience time backwards relative to the rest of us, huh?
MERLIN: Many, many things. You may not have heard this, but the reason I am able to predict the future is that I experience time backwards relative to most people.
HS: Actually, we have heard that. We just said it. So, what can you tell us about the future?
MERLIN: To tell the truth, I don’t really know yet.
HS: Okay, that’s a letdown. But we’ll wait. For now, how about something about your past?
MERLIN: I should think it would be fairly obvious by now.
HS: Really? How do you figure?
MERLIN: It has its disadvantages. For example, it can be very difficult just carrying on a conversation with people.
HS: I’m beginning to see what you mean.
MERLIN: Well, for one thing, seeing the future isn’t all wine and roses.
HS: Why is that? Give us an example.
MERLIN: What example? [sighs] Sometimes I hate being me.
HS: An example about seeing the future!
MERLIN: I never said you were frustrated.
HS: I’m not frustrated!
MERLIN: Oh, okay! I thought you didn’t want that.
HS: All I’m asking for is a simple prediction about the future.
MERLIN: What did you just tell me?
HS: I just told you!
MERLIN: Why are you so angry?
HS: Well, a little cooperation would be nice!
MERLIN: I’ll do the best I can.
HS: Then can’t you just tell me what I want to know?
MERLIN: I’ll be happy to help you.
HS: That would be good, because I would really like my questions answered!
MERLIN: Okay, then. Do you want to talk about something else? King Arthur, perhaps?
HS: No! Not at all!
MERLIN: How about I tell you your future? It’s usually the first thing people are interested in. Would you like to hear that?
HS: Yes, please.
MERLIN: Well, then, I think we should get started.
MERLIN: Hello, Merlin here. Is this the Squelch interviewer?
[Merlin hangs up.]