Mexiphysics

Mexican Food as Metaphysical Metaphor

Example 1: One-Dimensional space

One dimensional space extends in only two directions. Concepts commonplace in two or even three dimensional space are rendered impossible by the one-dimensional universe, which does not possess the properties necessary for their existence.

Consider the tortilla chip as a basic metaphor for one-dimensional space. While it may be used as a medium for salsa, melted cheese, or a variety of dips, it is essentially limited in its function relative to other foods. Thus it functions as an analogue for the one-dimensional universe. (A brief note: 3-D Doritos® will be ignored for the purposes of this discussion.)

Example 2: Two-Dimensional Space

Though it is flat, two-dimensional space accomodates both width and height, allowing for the use of geometrical features such as triangles, squares, trapezoids, the ever-elusive rhombus, and other assorted polygons.

The Quesadilla functions as the Mexiphysical analogue to two-dimensional space (2DS), and like 2DS, offers a world of possibilities that would be inconceivable in a Tortilla Chip universe. All manner of toppings remain possible, but with an added dimension–that of the filling. From the melted interior to the endless options to include beef or chicken filling, the Quesadilla is worlds ahead of the humble Tortilla Chip.

Be warned: A Quesadilla that is literally and not only metaphorically two-dimensional, being infinitely thin, can slice through a man’s lower jaw with almost no pressure, and absolutely no warning. Infinite thinness can be deadly.

Example 3: Three-Dimensional Space

You all know what three-dimensional space is, so I’ll cut the crap.

As one might suppose, Burritos are the Mexican food best representing the third dimension. Consider a Fabuloso Burrito and a Fabuloso Quesadilla being at equivalent levels of advancement within their respective universes. While both achieve the pinnacle of achievement possible within their dimensions, the Fabuloso Burrito includes salsa, guacamole, sour cream, and mole sauce, while the Fabuloso Quesadilla can only achieve the combination of salsa, guacamole, and sour cream–matching the Burrito universe’s far more primitive “Super Burrito” stage of development.

Example 4: The Fourth Dimension

While some may argue that the fourth dimension is time, a fourth spatial dimension specifically is something else altogether. It can be quite hard for three-dimensional creatures, to conceive of such things, but see if this helps.

Consider the strictly theoretical “Hyperburrito.” It is to the Burrito as the Burrito is to the Quesadilla. Scientists refer to it as the “Enchacho,” although its true name must be written with three-dimensional letters and is unpronounceable by a mouth with less than four dimensions. In basic terms, the Enchacho would consist of elemental units similar to that of a burrito; while it expands on to itself, it also collapses onto the core nucleus. The inter-tortilla supports the solenoidal bean and rice column, while the outer tortilla houses the meat, salsa, sour cream, guacamole, and the salsamole, which is unavailable in sub-fourth dimensions. Of course, if one wanted to eat the Enchacho, it would require two juxtaposed mouths and four rows of teeth. Although one that is 3-D cannot eat the Enchacho, it is feasible to run one’s tongue along the outer tortilla and end up within its inter-walls without ever lifting said tongue. Because of its four-dimensional configuration, the Enchacho can also bear the addition of olives.