Top Ten Reasons Your Penis Hangs to the Left

  1. They can’t _ both _ hang right
  2. Futile attempt to point out that your shoelace is untied
  3. Your tendency to use it as a kickstand while lying down
  4. It’s signaling to change lanes
  5. The right-hand rule
  6. Sympathy for lumpen proletariat
  7. Signals preference for counter-clockwise circle jerk
  8. Larger and more domineering right testicle
  9. Lunar gravitational pull
  10. Your girlfriend’s vagina hangs right