A somber and humorless M. C. Holohan, editor-in-chief of The Heuristic Squelch, announced that UC Berkeley’s premier humor magazine had tapped out its resources of funny. “We haven’t had a funny submission in weeks,” the monotonic Holohan told reporters. “Our editors’ wells have run dry. I even tried to tell my mom a knock-knock joke the other day, but I couldn’t get the punch line to come out right.”
“Yeah, I told your mom a knock-knock joke…if ya know what I mean!” shouted former assistant graphics editor Phil Tanofsky, who was met with a room whose silence was broken only by the occasional cough or throat-clearing. Tanofsky tried to explain his remark with suggestive hip motions, but to no avail.
“You see what I mean,” Holohan stated dolefully.
The staff of the Squelch remains hopeful, however, and is blowing the magazine’s remaining funding on research into alternative humor sources, like giant windmills, geothermal activity, and the “1001 Pornographic Top Ten Lists” books found in a number of popular grocery stores.