What’d You Just Say?

Read aloud the following story about a group of friends trying to put up a tent and see how many racial and/or ethnic slurs you can find embedded in the dialogue!

Cameron, Joe, Steve, and Morton agreed to get together and put up a large tent in Joe’s back yard for no good reason. Cameron, Joe, and Steve had already arrived, but Morton was running late.

“I wonder where he could be,” commented Joe.

“Yeah,” said Steve. “He’d better not flake on us. He still owes me five bucks.”

“I wish he wasn’t so niggardly,” Cameron said. (Okay, okay, that was obvious, but now you get the idea).

“I’ll say,” Steve agreed. Just then, Morton’s fat ass showed up.

“Hey guys,” Morton said. “Sorry I’m late, but I had to clean the windows at my house. My dad wouldn’t let me leave until all the windows were spic-and-span.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “Well, that’s okay then. Now let’s get this tent up for no good reason. Morton, you plant the stake and Cam’ll jockey up the pole.”

“Jockey up the pole?” Cam repeated. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Nevermind,” Steve replied. “Just do it.”

“Okay,” Cam said as he jockeyed up the pole. “Damn!” he shouted suddenly. “I can’t seem to make this pole lock.”

“Just try harder,” Joe suggested. “So, Morton. How did your day go?”

“You might want to say that again,” Steve told him. “People may have missed that one.”

“Okay,” Joe agreed. “So, Morton. How did your DAY-GO?”

“Fine,” Morton replied. “By the way, Steve, which is your favorite Rolling Stone?”


“Mine, too!”

“Boy, it sure is getting nippy out,” observed Joe.

“Did you guys watch the ‘Batman’ cartoon show today?” asked Morton. “All the supervillains were in prison, and a corrupt warden helped get the Joker out.”

“Gosh, that’s pretty interesting, you Canadian moron,” said Steve.

“And that’s the tooth!” Cameron said, and they all laughed at his little joke as they finished putting up the tent.

Now see how many sexist and misogynistic terms you can find in this story about gardening.

Miles, Tyler, Luke, and Marshall were tending Miles’ garden. All of a sudden, Marshall tripped over one of their tools.

“Damn!” cried Marshall. “Stupid hoe!”

“I like that hoe,” said Miles. “Its blade is very broad.”

“Whoa!” shouted Tyler flamboyantly. “Check out those melons! They’re stacked!”

“Yeah,” agreed Luke. “I piled them up yesterday.”

“Hey!” said Miles. “Where’d that dog come from?”

“It’s digging up the radishes!” whined Tyler.

“Is that a female dog?”

“No,” Marshall said. “It isn’t.”

Just then, Horace the guy who always says “sl” when he means to say “wh” showed up and said, “Slut’s up, guys?”

“Just tending the garden,” Luke told him.

“And that’s the tooth!” Miles said, and they all laughed at his joke as they finished tending the garden.

ally, see how many sexual innuendoes you can spot in this story about a six-year-old boy’s birthday party.

Billy, Pete, Jimmy, and Eustace were celebrating Billy’s sixth birthday, and eagerly waiting for Billy’s mom to come in with the cake.

“Boy, I sure can’t wait to get my hands on some of that sweet creamy cake,” Pete said.

“Me neither,” Billy agreed. “I wish my mom would hurry her dumb ass up.” Just then, Billy’s mom’s dumb ass showed up.

“Here’s the cake, sweetie,” she said. “Now be sure and blow extra hard to get all those candles out. Oops! I forgot the plates. I’ll be right back.” And with that, Billy’s mom went back into the kitchen to get the plates.

“Boy, Billy,” Jimmy said. “Your mom sure is a fine looking piece of ass.”

“I’ll say,” Pete agreed. “I could fuck that all day long.”

“And that’s the tooth!” Eustace shouted, and they laughed at his little joke until Billy’s mom came back, lit the candles, and accidentally set the whole house on fire, killing herself and all four children in a wretched inferno of death. Bestiality.