In an incredibly misguided effort to increase our cultural horizons, the Heuristic Squelch has signed up with the International Humor Exchange Program. The following is an article written by a Korean humorist describing his visit to the Berkeley campus. Originally written in Korean, the piece was translated into English by placing it on a block of wood and hammering some nails through it.
Some thing on this school real angry my! Many person give funny me. Say I to them, “Go away, stupid!” then I, “You angry my!”
So many angry my. CalPIRG, angry my. Always say, “Join us or die!”, and “No time wasters please!” Always they make mine angry. What thinks CalPIRG? I think many stuffs angries theirs too. Stupid CalPIRG! Theirs is so angry they try to angry everybody else’s, especially mine! Always they try to save the bird or something! Stupid angry bird!
Bill angry my also. Yesterday Bill come in. He say, “Chong, pick your stuffs away from the floor!”. This maked mine angry! I go “No way stupid Bill!” Then Bill goed, “Your crap is always being on the floor! Your crap makes mine angry when it is being on the floor.” Bill’s is always angry. Bill has girlfriend so his is always getting angry from hers. I say him, “Yours is just angry cause of Jenny’s month time! I bet hers is so angry now that she say, `Go away stupid! Mine is angry now! Come back tomorrow month!’ I’ll pick my stuffs away from the floor later!” Then Bill’s angry punched me in the face. This always happen during month time! Stupid month time!
The Daily Cal angry my, especially Ellen Lee. Why wastes she so much papers? Writes she this lucky big column about some apostrophe hers forgot to put in, and how the apostrophe angried someone’s that angried hers. Hers must think her paper not grows on trees. Well grows it on the trees alright. That why CalPIRG’s is so angry all the time. Ellen Lee’s angry writes so many stupid columns that they cut down a super good lot of trees for her to write on. This angries the stupid bird’s, which makes CalPIRG’s angry, so they can angry my! Stupid angry bird! Stupid Ellen Lee!
Many things on school angry my. Too many to write. Mostly Ellen Lee, though. Stupid Ellen Lee!