Interview With The “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” Dog

Heuristic Squelch: We’re talking today with the “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” chihuahua, who has rocketed to fame with a series of popular commercials. Thanks for consenting to the interview.

Chihuahua: Thanks for having me.

H.S.: Now, before we begin, are you by any chance hungry?

C.: No, I just ate.

H.S.: Are you sure? Because I have a certain type of Mexican food in a bag here…

C.: No, I’m not hungry.

H.S.: …so delicious and tasty….

C.: Is this about the catchphrase? My agent said that I didn’t have to say the catchphrase.

H.S.: Urn…are you positive about that?

C.: Of course! I’m sick of it! That damn commercial runs every five minutes. Aren’t you sick of it?

H.S.: Maybe if you were to remind me what the catchphrase sounds like…?

C.: No!

H.S.: OK, OK. [sighs] It would really break the ice if you could maybe say just part of the catchphrase…

C.: Can we just talk about what we discussed on the phone?

H.S.: Fine. Have it your way. Mr. Chihuahua, I hear you have an Off-Broadway show in production.

C.: Yes. It’s an adaptation of Benji: The Hunted written by David Mamet. I play Benji, an alcoholic terrier who’s in the midst of a personal crisis.

H.S.: Does Benji like nachos?

C.: What?

H.S.: Nothing. Go on.

C.: Anyway, Benji runs up some pretty high gambling debts, and the animal shelter is closing in on him. It’s a very powerful piece.

H.S.: I can imagine. Now, does Benji speak Spanish?

C.: Yes, he does. Part of the power of the play comes in the conflict between the two languages and cultures that dominate his…

H.S.: So, would he know how to say, perhaps, ‘I want some Taco Bell?”

C.: Look, I told you I’m not gonna say it. Don’t you realize that I’m an actor? The Taco bell chihuahua isn’t me. It’s just a role I played. I don’t want to be typecast for the rest of my career by it. Do you remember Spuds Mackenzie?

H.S.: Not really, but I bet he couldn’t resist the flavor of a delicious Border LightTM Taco. Mmm mmm! I think I’ll have one right now.

C.: That’s it. I’m out of here.

H.S.: Say it! Say it! Say “Yo Quiero Taco Bell!”

C.: Let go of me! I’ll bite you!

H.S.: Como se dice “I want some Taco Bell” en espanol? Como se dice…Ow! Me duele la mono!

C.: Adios, asshole.