- Cyborgs!
- Return the Lindbergh baby
- Airlift supplies to Berlin
- More school dances that remind us of our awkward teenage years
- Take down the Confederate flag from atop Eshleman Hall
- Give students excursion passes to the Land of Chocolate
- Send a
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- What just happened?
- Huh?
- I’d hate to see a low-tech burrito.
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- Teach evolution in Kansas
- Replace communal wine with Franzia “Party-in-a-Box”
- Last rites read in comical Yiddish accent
- Non-transsubstantiating wafers
- Recommend the rhythm method as a viable birth control option
- A dildo in your ass instead of the priest’s cock
- Apology
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- Cocoa Puff Daddy
- Vons Value Brand Night Stalker Cereal
- Honey Tomb
- Apple Jack the Ripper
- Jeffrey Dahmer’s Frosted Flakes of Human Skin
- Grape Psychos
- Cunanan Toast Crunch
- Rice Kaczinskys
- Honey Bundys of Oats
- Cheeri-OJs
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- I can’t believe you had sex with my mother!
- Uno!
- Why is it so hard to think of a name for Jack’s bistro?
- It’s a boy!
- To add or drop a class, press “2”.
- Just come in off the ledge.
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- The Jungle Gook
- Gooks and Ladders
- The Gooks of Hazzard
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- Use 1 -800-COLLECT And Save A Buck Or Two On All Your Calls To Someone Who Cares
- Here’s Two Quarters, Call Someone Who Cares
- If You Keep It Brief, You Can Just Use My Cell Phone
- I Don’t Especially Care
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- “…until the handle breaks off, and you have to go to the doctor to pull it out again!”
- “Donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey.”
- “Or not.”
- “This thesis will self-destruct in five seconds.
- “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
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- Berkeley Engineers, Conductors and Brakemen
- Defenders of the Silver Standard
- Safeway Club
- Whigs
- A bunch of guys named Roger
- National Socialist
- HARDBOILED!
- Bull Moose
- The Bring Dave Coulier To Campus Party
- BYOB
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