- Use 1 -800-COLLECT And Save A Buck Or Two On All Your Calls To Someone Who Cares
- Here’s Two Quarters, Call Someone Who Cares
- If You Keep It Brief, You Can Just Use My Cell Phone
- I Don’t Especially Care
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- “…until the handle breaks off, and you have to go to the doctor to pull it out again!”
- “Donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey.”
- “Or not.”
- “This thesis will self-destruct in five seconds.
- “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
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- Berkeley Engineers, Conductors and Brakemen
- Defenders of the Silver Standard
- Safeway Club
- Whigs
- A bunch of guys named Roger
- National Socialist
- HARDBOILED!
- Bull Moose
- The Bring Dave Coulier To Campus Party
- BYOB
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- Cocoa Puff Daddy
- Vons Value Brand Night Stalker Cereal
- Honey Tomb
- Apple Jack the Ripper
- Jeffrey Dahmer’s Frosted Flakes of Human Skin
- Grape Psychos
- Cunanan Toast Crunch
- Rice Kaczinskys
- Honey Bundys of Oats
- Cheeri-Ojs
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- Vegans on Ice
- Break the Cycle’s Bicycle Repair Workshop
- twLFSmackdown!
- American Culture Night of Watching TV and Eating Salty Food
- Unitary transformation
- 300 Ear-splitting Minutes with the Golden Overtones
- Muslim Student Union’s Age-Old Simmering Border Conflict with Hillel
- Cal-PIRG 48
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- Kill’Em All
- Fight Fire With The Fire Extinguisher
- Battery Not Included
- Puppeteer of Puppets
- Don’t Tread on the Tulips
- Trapped Under Father O’Malley (Catholic Children Only)
- Ride the Carousel
- For Whom the Recess Bell Tolls
- Milk and Cookies for All
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- Play That Funky Music Al Gore
- Johnny B. Partisan
- Smells Like The Contract With America
- I Just Called To Say I.O.U.
- Majority Whip It
- One Hand In My Pocket Veto
- Chapel of Love, Where Love Is Defined Explicitly as Being
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- Spay dog (you can suck the uterus right out of there)
- Turn innie into outie (for a brief period of time)
- In-home angioplasties
- Climb up side of building (requires two vacuums)
- Save money on shampoo
- Give self hickey; watch popularity
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- Cyborgs!
- Return the Lindbergh baby
- Airlift supplies to Berlin
- More school dances that remind us of our awkward teenage years
- Take down the Confederate flag from atop Eshleman Hall
- Give students excursion passes to the Land of Chocolate
- Send a
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- What just happened?
- Huh?
- I’d hate to see a low-tech burrito.
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