- Schindler’s Fist
- The Horse Fisterer
- Fist Fucking Nuns on Acid
- Fister Act 2
- Fisting Miss Daisy
- Nell (Director’s Cut)
- Fisting Private Ryan
- Don’t Tell Mom the Babyfister’s Dead
- Gorillas in the Fist
- Stop or My Mom Will Fist
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten Parting Words You Don’t Want to Hear from Your GSI
-
Those weren’t really fetal pigs.
-
I think you got me wet.
- I’m Batman.
- Today’s self-addressed stamped postcard is brought to you by the letter F.
- Want to know how your mother got an A in this class?
- Your check bounced.
Top Ten Reasons $1.10 Chinese Food is Better than $1 Chinese Food
-
Colombian MSG
-
11% of your purchase goes toward the purchase of $1 Chinese Food.
- Their fortune cookies have dimes in them.
- They never get tired of your “flied lice” jokes.
- Their Kung Pao actually tastes different from sweet ‘n’ sour
Top Ten Things We Can Expect to See in the Star Wars Prequel
-
Optimus Prime
-
C3P0 killing John Connor
- The token Black guy getting killed
- A token Black guy
- A pre-pubescent Chewbacca
- The icy planet of Hoth
- Kevin Bacon!
- Midgets in alien costumes
- Waldo
- The Emperor’s new clothes
Top Ten Sexually Confused Children’s Television Characters
-
Wonder if She’s a Woman
-
The Ex-Men
- Bananas in Fishnets
- The Thunderqueens
- Mr. McFeely
- Peppermint Patty
- She Man and He-Ra
- Bert and Ernie
- Gaybots
- Transgenders: More than meets the eye
Top Ten Barnyard Religions
-
Calfolicism
-
Scientology (It’s all horse shit.)
- Hatched Again
- Tridactyl Talon of God
- Moos for Jesus
- Islamb
- Seventh Hay Adventist
- Baa Hai
- Cattle prod-estantism
- Henduism
Top Ten Ways to Break an Awkward Silence While on a Date
-
Empty your colostomy bag onto the table.
-
Talk about any surgery or sores you may have.
- Club a baby harp seal.
- Food fight
- Noogies
- Do your crazy Martin Van Buren impression.
- Limericks
- Tabasco chugging competition
- Table dance
- Casually ask,
Top Ten Nicknames for Chancellor Berdhal
-
Chancellor Eleven
-
Really Really Boring Man
- The Dessert Fox
- Darth Berdhal
- Polyphemus
- Muffin
- Dollface
- Fingercuffs
- Tex
- Berdy
Top Ten Terms For Having Sex With Your Clothes On
- Intercoarse
- Saving Private Hymen
- Chinese boner torture
- Debbie Does Denim
- Clubbing
- Spring Break Salt Lake City
- 501 Blues
- Outercourse
- Frottage
- Dry Humping
Top Ten Berkeley Bands
-
Tha Mangy Dogg Pound
-
The Notorious ASUC
- The Wu Tang Center
- Ugly Kid Courtney
- Fat Slice Slim
- Beastie Boys and Girls and Chancellors and Dogs and Cats at a University
- The Artist Formerly Known as
the ASUC President - The Angry
