We at the Squelch have received numerous complaints that last issue’s sorority girl jokes were raunchy and untrue, and merely accused them of being sluts. As part of a Squelch-wide move toward better investigative reporting, the editorial staff went out in search of the truth about sorority girls. After a two weeks study, the editors have received zero sexual acts, 14 slaps to the face, and one kick to the groin. From objects, but rather, as man-hating lesbians. We apologize for any frustration caused by our previous errant views. Please note that until further notice, frat guys are still ignorant flabby drunks with latent homosexual tendencies.